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As we travel through life, and along life's busy highway occasionally, often due to neglect, or overuse, the brakes can fail. Alright so this isn't the story of how to live your life.

When the brakes fail, there is an initial sinking feeling in your stomach, a short flare of panic, and occasionally an awful smell from your pants.

DON'T PANIC, this is not a warning, I'm just trying to rip off the estate of Douglas Adams.

The immediate thing everyone does is to pump the brake pedal hoping it is a temporary thing and that the brakes will work. On many occasions this particular reaction will work, due to problems with the brakes master cylinder, air can creep into the brake line and reduce the ability of the Master Cylinder to pump brake fluid to the brake cylinders.

If it is only the master cylinder you will be able to stop, but you should have it fixed.

If on the other hand there are no brakes, knowing why will not help.

There are a few ways to slow and eventually stop the vehicle. If you are not travelling fast, you can use the hand brake (emergency brake in some countries). By pulling on the brake, this can slow your car and you will be able to stop. You must be careful when pulling over to the side of the road, pull too hard and the car will do a complete 180 degree turn (as an aside this is also useful to impress people, or have them think you're an idiot).

The hand brake is often the brake of last resort and requires a fair bit of strength to stop a car, strangely enough in the few times I've had to use it, to save my life and that of others, I have been able to jam the brake so badly, they had to cut the cable to release it. Adrenalin, natures answer to Superman.

In the event your car is travelling too fast, or down a hill, you can drop the car into a lower gear and use the engine breaking to slow the car, dropping it through each gear until you come to a stop. Put it in gear and take your foot off the accelerator.

In the event you really need to stop the car, place the car in Reverse and jam on the accelerator. This will stop the car, but it will also destroy the gearbox, engine, drive shaft, differential and probably the car, you will stop, but it will not be pleasant for either you or the insurance company.

There is one other problem that can occur with brakes and that is brake fade, this is where you have full brake pressure, but the car is not slowing. This is caused by overheating the brakes (which can cause the brake fluid to boil), due to over use. Allow the car to slow, by using the gears, and pressing the brakes gently and removing your foot from the brake pedal each time will allow air to reach the brakes pads and allow them to cool down.

If on the other hand nothing is slowing your car and you know a crash is inevitable, look for something soft, small trees, bushes, shrubs, small toyotas, mazdas, or fiats. The best thing to crash into would be a bunch of mattresses carelessly left on the road, StayPuft the Marshmallow Man would be ideal. A small duck pond, or water at the side of the beach, or river. The worst thing to crash into would be big trees, concrete barriers, or the edge of a large cliff, building or truck.

If none of these are available, now is not a good time to wish the car had more airbags.

Learn more about this author, Robert Mcmartin.
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