by Mitzi Saltsman

Created on: May 05, 2009

Helicopters are fun to watch. They make fun noises. They go where you don't expect them to be able to go. They are different from the everyday airplanes we see. Of course the most impressive feature of the helicopter is that it can hover. On TV we see the police helicopters following closely behind a suspect, letting the ground people know all the details of the chase. Or, we see the reporting helicopters getting a close up of a traffic jam or other "You Are There" event. Thus, ... the term Helicopter Parent.

A Helicopter Parent also "hovers". They are the parents who can't seem to let their children go. They make funny noises (unless you are a teacher, in which case they make annoying noises!). They go where they probably don't need to go and they are different from other "every day" parents who seem much more relaxed with their children.

There are a variety of reasons why a parent might hover. Maybe the child was ill as an infant. Maybe the parent has nothing else to do. Maybe the parent has a "type A" perfectionist problem. There are lots of reasons that we see in "other" parents. To avoid becoming a helicopter parent, take a good look at yourself.

Do you have a good relationship with your child? You certainly don't have to act like other parents. In fact more often than "helicopter" parents we find parents not involved at all. Don't feel like you need to abandon your child in order not to hover. It's really all about balance. Just because your children doesn't want you to know where they are going or who will be at "the party", doesn't mean you should let it go. Responsible parenting is not the same as hovering. If your children complain about your involvement all the time ... evaluate what you are doing. Don't wait for a disaster to happen.

Find a parenting partner you can trust. In a, not so typical anymore, two parent biological family, where the Mom and the Dad are both bonded to the child by flesh and blood, you can gage each other. It still tough because your backgrounds are different and you will have different parenting styles. A helicopter parent doesn't really recognize this characteristic in him or herself. They also are not the type of person who is going to listen to someone else's advice. This parent is so focused on what they want for their child they will wait until there is a major crisis. Even then they may not really know why it happened and probably will not see any fault of their own.

In blended families or single parent family or broken

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