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Don't let resentment destroy your marriage!

How do I know all this? I used to play the bitterness game many years ago when I was still absorbed in my self and alcoholism. I was also addicted to my feelings and manipulating and controlling others using my negative feelings. Whenever I felt slighted by my husband I would hold it against him with resentment and unforgiveness.

Fortunately I figured out that I was only hurting myself with my bitter feelings and that I was the cause of my own negative feelings of ill will. It doesn't matter what someone else says and does, what matters is how we react. So how did I figure it out? I prayed about it over and over again.

One day I just woke up with a different attitude. I now know that God blessed me with knowledge that I did not have before. He gave me wisdom that before I was not ready for because I couldn't see wisdom. I didn't want to see it. I was too selfish to realize my own faults. I can say this with much confidence because I used to be a resentment propagator. I didn't know how to react to other people's behavior toward me.

My daughter, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning you ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God. For the LORD gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. (Proverbs 2:1-6)

You see your spouse can't make you feel resentfulyou do that to yourself. The more you harbor ill will towards your spouse, the more difficult it will be for you to see realityto see the big picture of things. Holding in negative feelings within your spirit creates sin in your life. Resentful feelings tell your mind what to do, how to believe, and how to behave towards your spouse. It may tell you to get a divorce.

Perhaps it tells you to look at pornography. You think it is justified because your wife rejects you often. Or perhaps you think it is ok to have an affair because your husband did it. Or it can tell you to be ugly and mean with your spouse because you feel like behaving that way. Resentment is a negative emotion that will tear your marriage apart until there is nothing left to repair. Resentment told me to drank, so I drank away my miserable feelings.

Some people are more prone to holding in resentment than others. It doesn't make

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