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People are urged to tell the truth at all times. It's a great rule to follow but there should be a line drawn somewhere on just how honest you need to be. Being truthful with your wife about how her new dress looks might not always be the right answer. There are ways to tell the truth without hurting someone's feelings.

Honesty and brutal frankness are completely different entities. Honesty is something that is necessary to sustain long-lasting relationships. Brutal frankness, on the other hand, can break-up otherwise sustainable relationships.

Here is a look at how honesty versus brutal frankness:

Self Esteem

Honesty shows a genuine interest in giving someone good information. It doesn't require that you ever be mean. It is a statement that says this is what happened or this is what I think without totally destroying another human beings self-confidence.

Brutal honesty on the other hand is just as its name states. It is telling someone like it is with no concern for their feelings or well-being. It doesn't take into consideration any of the human factors of common decency. Although there may be times that it is called for, it is not necessary for it to be used on a regular basis.

Kindness

To be honest is to be kind to others. The truth does sometimes hurt. In the long run, it is better to be truthful, especially when you are discussing a big issue. Honesty is the act of telling the truth in a kind and sensitive manner. It is only helpful if done in a constructive way that can resolve the issues at hand.

Brutal Frankness doesn't allow for the constructive parts to come alive. It is meant to be harmful and hurtful to those that speak it. There is no kindness in the word brutal. Honesty is the best thing to have on your side. Brutal frankness doesn't have a place in the picture.

Trustworthiness

Honesty allows other to trust everything you say. If you constantly tell lies, your word will mean nothing to anyone that has been a victim to them. It is important for all relationships to involve trust. Telling the truth is the only way to gain this.

On the other hand, brutal frankness will only disturb people. You may have once been a trustworthy person to only slaughter it with unkind words to or about others. Being brutally frank can be construed as jealousy of another person. Sure, she may look like a prostitute to you but to others she may look like she is simply showing off what she's got. These are unnecessary phrases that are meant to harm someone else.

It is alright to be brutally honest at times. Some situations call for it when they have gone beyond the realm of anything else. However, it should be used very sparingly. Don't get caught up so much in the truth that you forget that being a decent human being to others is the most important aspect of our lives. Be trustworthy but not to the point of intentionally or carelessly harming others.

Learn more about this author, Dawn Hawkins.
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