by M.A. Dal Cero

Created on: May 05, 2009   Last Updated: July 27, 2009

The question of whether or not you should stay in an unhappy marriage for the sake of the children can be a difficult one to answer. It depends solely on what one's definition of "the sake of the children" is. Many individuals believe that keeping a family intact is the best decision, and the one which will benefit children the most. However, it is also the choice that could prove to be the most detrimental.

An unhappy marriage affects every member of a family. Children are able to feel the stress, tension, and dissatisfaction that exist between parents who are struggling with their feelings regarding their marriage. Further, when fighting, yelling, and arguments are involved, the children will naturally become unhappy and frightened. This lack of joy and fear can manifest in a myriad of ways in a child's life. He or she may become depressed or anxious, and schoolwork may begin to suffer as a result. Parents who decide to stay in the marriage for the sake of the children must truly have a desire to work through their issues in a productive and peaceful manner. Otherwise, the damage that ensues causes the children to pay far too high a price.

Those who come to the realization that the best course of action is to part ways often find that their children become happier and more at ease than they previously were. No one enjoys living in a home in which there is a pervading atmosphere of sadness and discontentment. They will understandably be upset over the fact that their parents separated or divorced, but they will also feel a great sense of relief that life has become far less volatile. A parent's happiness, or lack thereof, always rubs off on a child. It is also important to remember that children are extremely resilient beings. Despite the adjustments they will have to make in terms of dealing with the fact that their parents are no longer together, most will, over time, bounce back successfully.

Every child deserves a blissful childhood in which they can simply enjoy being a child. Further, all children have the right to be brought up in a happy, healthy home. Some parents resist becoming yet another divorce statistic with such a high degree of obstinacy that they often forget that the children are the ones who suffer the most. There are times when couples are able to repair a troubled marriage, but when that is not possible, "the sake of the children" might be better served by leaving.

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