by Priscilla Benfield

Created on: May 05, 2009

If you have not yet had a discussion with your teen about sex, the conversation is long overdue. It is time to stop avoiding it and get down to some serious talk.

First of all remember what it was like yourself being a teenager. Whether you had open communication with your own parents or not, the world is a different place for today's teens. With the Internet and the relaxed atmosphere towards sex, teens might be getting a lot of mixed messages. As a parent it is your job to not only pass on your own personal expectations for your teen regarding premarital sex but clear up any misinformation about what is normal behavior.

Teens are going to be curious. Don't expect that yours is any different. Teaching abstinence is a matter of personal choice but also teach the importance of birth control. Unwanted pregnancy is not the only issue to be concerned about. Prevention of sexually transmitted disease is something that a teen should be aware of. Keeping your teen safe and healthy is a major concern. Just because you would prefer for them not to have sex doesn't mean that they are going to take your advice. You need to make sure that they are aware of all the risks involved.

Pick a time where you are not going to be disturbed. Turn off cell phones and leave your embarrassment behind. It is so important to have open communication with your teenager. You want your teen to be able to come to you with any questions or concerns that they might have.

Don't judge their behavior. You want them to open up to you. They need to feel that they can trust you with their feelings. It is normal for teens to have concerns about their sexuality and even doubts about being heterosexual. Even if you feel shock by something your teen says try not to show it. Having an open and honest conversation is the goal. Remember that there is a lot more information out there today and teens are exposed to different behaviors.

Avoid giving too much detail about your own exploits as a teenager. Expressing that you had similar thoughts is fine but sharing mistakes that you made might backfire as giving your teen the green light to make the same mistakes. Identify with feelings of having your heart broken but emphasize the idea that this happens to everyone.

Discussing sex with your teen doesn't have to be awkward. Think of it as a necessary conversation that when approached in an honest and loving way can bring you and your teen closer.

Learn more about this author, Priscilla Benfield.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.