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Many of us have a few friends that we've known for years. Maybe we have grown up with them and they have become like adopted family members. These decades old friendships can transcend even the strongest blood ties. Over the years we've laughed and cried with these friends. We've cherished in sharing life's most joyous moments and life's most intimate details with them. But sometimes we can even outgrow even the oldest of friendships. Sometimes this can be a painful thing to admit, that you have outgrown a friendship, especially if it is a friend who has seen us mature and shared in life's roller coaster journey. But in fact, all too often this does happen.

There are many reasons why friends outgrow one another. More often than not it is that our lives go down different paths and we grow into different people. It may that one person has matured faster or more so than another and no longer enjoys the same activities or has the same mindset than the less mature friend. People change and opinions change; this is a fact of life. This can be a stark realization when it happens. Outgrowing a friendship can prove to be very emotionally taxing and often it can be like going through the grieving process of a death of a loved one. First we experience hurt and sadness. Then questions flood our minds like, "Why?" Why did this happen and how did it come to this? Next we might become regretful of our actions and question our judgment in deciding too quickly to end a friendship. Finally, if we feel comfortable that we indeed did make the right decision, we learn to accept the difficult decision that we made to end a friendship and move on learning to live without having that person in our lives.

Sometimes friends just causally drift away from one another, talking less often and gradually they become more of acquaintances than good friends. While this too may hurt just as if ties were cut altogether, friends who stay in contact as acquaintances might just find that years down the road they once again, enjoy the same types of activities or that they are in the same season of life and they become friends once again.

Most people delight in making new friends and acquaintances who engage in the same lifestyle as they do. And most people are resilient enough to live through the loss of a friendship and accept it, however; just like learning to accept the death of a loved one, sometimes people need help dealing with their loss of a friendship. People who feel as if they aren't thriving or aren't coming to terms with their grief should seek professional counseling and make friends and family members aware of how they are feeling. Learning to rely on friends and family members and talking about how you are feeling are great healing strategies and may lessen the pain of a loss allowing us to heal faster.

Learn more about this author, Denise Calaman.
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