by Terry Marsh

Created on: May 05, 2009

Experts would say that it's best to get back on a horse after being thrown off, to get back in the batter's box after striking out, and to never give up after the disappointment of failure. But a clich is of little use to a person on the rebound from a broken heart, and getting back in the saddle could be the last thing on their mind.

Taking the first step towards dating again after being dumped by a lover is like to starting to walk all over again after an accident. The first few steps are a little shaky, but it doesn't take long to get back into stride. The most difficult part of dating again is letting go of the past, and the important thing to remember is not to move too fast.

Letting Go of Ghosts

Past relationships can be haunting. They can often keep us from moving forward long after the relationship has ended, and cause us to see things in our new associations that aren't really there. Letting go of ghosts from relationships past is essential to opening doors to the possibilities of the future.

There is nothing wrong with being a little cautious, but it's an entirely different matter when we allow the fears of our past to hold us back from achieving emotional fulfillment. Letting go of ghosts is not always easy, but it is necessary in order to move into more fulfilling relationships.

Allow Time for Healing

A broken heart will mend at its' own pace, but it is possible to accelerate the process. Allowing time for healing prior to jumping back into the dating scene helps minimize future relationship issues. Rushing from one relationship to another is a recipe for disaster. A bruised heart is a lot like a strained muscle, it still functions, but it is most effective after going through the entire healing process.

Have a Little Faith

Dating after being dumped is an exercise in faith. We often invest so much of ourselves into our past relationships that we feel emotionally vulnerable when things don't work out. Too often, we carry that baggage into other potential relationships. We shouldn't fear every dog just because we've had a bad experience with one.

Stepping out in faith does not mean to leap blindly. There is nothing wrong with learning from past mistakes, as long as they don't keep us shackled to our fears. Faith becomes stronger by taking things a step at a time, and that includes letting go, healing our wounds, and moving forward.

Eventually, as we begin dating again, we engage our new relationships with an open heart, an open mind, and very open eyes.

Learn more about this author, Terry Marsh.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.