by Marea E. Johnson

Created on: May 04, 2009   Last Updated: April 11, 2011

Using the "time-out" method is a very popular and effective means of disciplining children. It eliminates the need for threats, yelling, and spanking, all of which only serve to demean the child, and leave the parents feeling frustrated and guilt ridden.

If you want to begin implementing time-outs with your children, you must be prepared for a short time to have the patience of a saint as your child will, of course, resist you at every turn. But I promise you, if you stick to this and not give up, the child will learn you mean business and will obey you without any resentment or fear, and you will reclaim your sanity!

The first thing you need to do is find a safe, quiet, and boring place where the child will be sent when he acts up. Make sure this spot is not a bedroom, family room, or any other place that might provide any stimulation for the child, which is the opposite of what we want. He is there to calm down, reflect on his behavior, experience the isolation that comes with and make the connection between his poor behavioral choices and the consequences of being removed from others until he is able to respect, obey, and behave.

Some parents choose to put a "time-out" chair or bench, others just have the child sit in a corner on the floor. Depending on the age of the child, and the format and furnishing of your home, you can use your own discretion. Obviously you don't want to have your child sitting on a dirty or cold floor, but you also don't want to put him on a cushy little couch where he can happily "do his time"!

Proponents of time-outs recommend that the child spend one minute per year of the child's age. For example, if the child is three years old, then you put them in time-out for three minutes. If they are seven, then they will be sent there and expected to stay there seven minutes. Whatever the age though, they are to sit there and not get up until you yourself give them permission. Many parents choose to use kitchen timers to keep track of the minutes. It is also a tangible way for the child to understand that the time-out won't last "forever", as minutes can seem like hours to a child.

When you first begin to implement this, plan on the child continually getting up and leaving the time out spot several times. Depending on the child and their stubbornness, you could potentially have to keep taking the child back to the time-out spot 20 times or more! But be patient. Eventually the child will realize he is not in control; you are. And eventually

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