by Eva Clark

Created on: May 04, 2009   Last Updated: May 07, 2009

Love and Alzheimer's disease

Alzheimer's disease has also been called the "long death." I can identify with this idea, because my mother suffered from Alzheimer's disease for about twenty years. I was about thirty-five years of age when she first started slipping from us. My husband, a year older than I, mentioned some oddities that he had witnessed in my mother's behavior. I finally admitted to him what I had not yet admitted to myself. Nagging thoughts about a few inconsistencies, in her behavior, had been pushed to the "nether world" of my mind. So when he mentioned his concerns, I felt relieved to be able to talk about this with someone. My husband was the first to become cognizant of my mother's declining condition and he remained supportive of our family's dilemma throughout this subtle, yet deadly onslaught of Alzheimer's.

It was 1978 and my parents were not getting along too well. I thought these marital troubles were the reasons behind my mom's recent odd behavior. It took a few more years for the disease to really begin to show itself, to all who were paying attention. Her regular physician failed to recognize the early signs of Alzheimer's. Her family did not know what was happening. Mom became progressively worse, and her family became more frustrated, as we lashed out at one another, and shamefully, at her. Jane Austen's thoughts on the incivilities of love leaped to life for me, for sure, back then.

Alzheimer's disease is an insidious one. It can make you so sad to see your dearest slipping away "right before your very eyes." It makes you so uneasy to glimpse the fear in their eyes. To witness a loved one suffer from this disease, is to prepare one's self for constant heartbreak, along with a sense of unending despair.

Love kicked in and reminded me of the unconditional love that this beautiful lady had given to me. The need to protect her, became my first priority. After much discussion and persuasion, it was decided that our mother should be evaluated by another doctor. He did diagnose Alzheimer's disease for mom. She needed more watching, and tender loving care. We, as her family, to me, did not respond in the way we should have. Our precious jewel of a mom was placed in a nursing home. Our dad had no choice. He too, was aged. This did not work out so well. Our mother moved from two nursing homes, in less than two years. She finally settled in a nursing home, we had all said was okay, but it was not. This nursing home gave her a severe burn on

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