by Jen Bonds

Created on: May 04, 2009   Last Updated: May 07, 2009

I have always been able to distance myself from the emotional connection with patients that I have. That was before I met "Faith". "Faith" taught me a hard lesson about love and expressing it to the ones that I care for. "Faith" suffers from Alzheimer's, like so many of our older generation do. She doesn't know that her story affected mine, yet I have told her many times. She simple doesn't remember.

"Faith" came to my facility after she had a fall with injuries. Her health was declining at a rapid rate. Her family admitted her with the knowledge that she would most likely never be able to return home. Her daughter and husband would come to visit her everyday. She was always so happy to see them. She remembered all about her life with them, but as soon as they were gone she would forget that they had been there.

Short term memory is usually the first thing that goes with Alzheimer's. She was able to remember her past, yet couldn't remember five minutes prior. This is what makes it hardest for families to understand. Unless you are familiar with the disease process, Alzheimer's can take a family by surprise. One day you think that Mom is okay because when you visit she is able to carry on a conversation and knows who you are. You don't realize that when you leave, she has forgotten that you were there. This is what happened with "Faith".

"Faith" had been married to her husband for over fifty years. When he came to visit her eyes would light up. I envied that love the first day that I witnessed it. I have been with my husband for over ten years and it made me wonder that if I were there in the nursing home, would I recognize him when he came to see me? Does he love me enough to come visit me everyday even if he knew that I would not remember seeing him?

Eventually, the thoughts of "Faith" not being able to remember started to affect her husband. He had been with this woman everyday for most of his life. He wanted to be with her still. He ended up admitting himself into the nursing home also. He was in a different room on the opposite end of the building but that did not keep him away from his precious wife. They would go down to the dining room together to eat. They would attend activities and church together. He knew that she would be happier and not be scared because of his familiar face there with her through everything.

He would sit with her and hold her hand for hours after dinner. When he was tired or she was ready for bed, he would give her a big kiss and hug,

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