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Is honesty really the best policy? This is a question that has been testing the moral and ethical standing of individuals and communities for more years than one would care to remember.

In simple terms the honest answer is that honesty is the best policy. There are a number of reasons for this, not the least of these being that, in the experience of most people, dishonesty, for example by the telling of a lie, has a habit of being found out. A dishonest act of any nature is like a pack of cards in that the slightest test of its authenticity of its foundation crumbling immediately.

There are those who would argue that occasionally the consequences of honesty can be too hurtful to those on the receiving end of this moral approach. These are the people who suggest that there are occasions and incidents where "a little white lie" might be a more appropriate response. However, perhaps it is bluntness and intention rather than casting the blame on honesty that should really be considered in these situations.

A typical example of where honesty can be harmful if delivered in the wrong manner can be seen where one person asks another about their choice of clothing. For instance, often a lady of any age, when preparing to go for a night out, will ask their partner or parent how they think she looks. If, in the opinion of the person being asked the question, the attire being word is considered to be inappropriate for any reason the wrong answer to give is something like "you look like mutton dressed as lamb" or "you look horrible." This, in the opinion of the author, is destructive honesty and never the best policy.

However, honesty delivered with consideration and care can be constructive. Take the above example again. To say to the person, "in my opinion those clothes do not do you justice" or "they do not enhance your beauty," is still an honest opinion. However, because it is delivered with sensitivity, this honest approach is far less likely to cause offence or upset the lady in question. If anything, it will signal to them that you really care for them and are concerned about how they look.

Providing alternatives with an honest opinion is another way to replace the bluntness of honesty with a caring and considerate approach. For instance, if an employee or work colleague asks for an honest opinion on something that they have spent time creating, instead of saying "it is rubbish" it is far better, but still honest, to say something like, "I personally would have done this" and give an example of where and how you feel they could improve their creation.

Honesty should never be used as a weapon to inflict hurt, embarrassment or humiliation on anyone. It should be delivered with care and with consideration for the feelings and vulnerabilities of the person who is receiving the comment. If this approach is taken then there is no doubt that honesty is the best policy.

Learn more about this author, Paul Lines.
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