by Nicole Nortier

Created on: January 31, 2007   Last Updated: April 25, 2007

I don't have the answer to the question of whether or not a mom should work outside the home, only some insight into the pluses and minuses of both. Having just finished a temporary job as an elementary school aide and substitute teacher, which changed my status from full-time mom to working mom for three months, I've concluded a few things about the differences between the two.

For sure, work is rewarding. The satisfaction that comes from making a contribution to something larger than yourself fills you up and perhaps, ultimately, is what defines happiness. You feel competent and confident by completing tasks and overcoming daily challenges. Quite often you are evaluated for your performance and, at times, complimented on a job well done. Sometimes you are thanked personally and/or financially. Each day offers opportunities to help others and experience the camaraderie of being part of a team. This connection with others goes a long way toward making a person feel significant and whole.

Then you come home to your children. You quickly go from feeling whole and appreciated to feeling inadequate in the face of all you have to do. To begin with, the things you used to do while the kids were at school didn't get done. The house still needs to be cleaned, the groceries still need to be bought and, of course, the laundry; the overwhelming propagation of dirty clothes has amassed to such a pile that it is overflowing every hamper in the house, even while the clean clothes from the last load lie folded and waiting to be put away. So, there's the feeling of being behind in the chores.

Then there are the children themselves. Their personal dramas have been playing out over the past seven hours without you and they would like to share many of these hurts, disappointments, victories and embarrassments with you in great detail. This, as all parents know, requires intense concentration and probing inquiries. Have you ever tried to piece together the tale of a lost ponytail holder as told by a seven-year old? But I do this every day because I am genuinely interested. It helps me understand my children and keep up with the details of their lives. It also gives me a chance to provide a sympathetic ear, if not advice, on a sticky situation. After all, it's these experiences that are shaping who they are.

Then there are the after-school activities that we must dress for, drive to and participate in while still leaving time for homework, dinner and a bath. Oh yeah, and guess who

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