by DM Zwack

Created on: May 03, 2009

HUMANS NEED NOT APPLY

I walk on two legs and don't lay eggs

So I can't be no reptile,

No snake in the grass, no crocodile,

Profile like a smile but get too close and you're toast.

You only want sheep, dumb, you won't hear a peep from.

Human beings don't get seen; the scam, the sham

Is that Mary hired a little lamb.

I don't think you want me in your company.

I'm no worker bee, don't have five eyes but I can see

That the king ain't no thing, no crown, no ring;

He just mates with the queen, egg-laying machine.

No voice, just a tone, a buzz from a drone;

I'm not a retriever so don't throw me a bone.

But the boss can talk and squawk and amaze

With an overused phrase;

No person, just a walking sack of cliches.

:BRAACK: (parrot sound)

Humans, don't get no notion of promotion

Because if you haven't heard, every manager is now a myna bird.

But don't trip, the tide can turn, it can flip.

People have thumbs, we can grip;

Wings clip, feathers strip, pluckity pluck,

Rip, rip, now you're a dead duck.

Let's see this roll of your back.

It's weighted, you hate it,

See you again when I need a snack.

I didn't move your cheese, I ate it.

Thought you could grab that?

Dream on, little lab rat.

Again with the thumb, dummy;

Stuck with the yummy crumbs in your tummy.

So if your workplace features creatures with no soul,

Don't sweat,

Don't fret,

Don't forget

That women and men can again take control.

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