by Mike Mueller

Created on: May 02, 2009   Last Updated: May 03, 2009

In any situation involving acceptance or rejection, all other things being equal, you are statistically more likely to be rejected. Unless the playing field has been tilted in your favor- which is most often the case where you see one individual or a core group of individuals consistently being accepted- you should anticipate that you will likely be rejected. Unless your rich parents made philanthropic donations to an institution or university, your odds of being rejected are great. Acceptance and rejection are often not based on individual merit, but on pre-established relationships or social connections. Compensation and grading are also based on oligarchical position and political considerations, not on productivity or quality- in both the professions and academia. Cronyism is the order of the day in backward, oligarchical, and partisan societies, such as the United States of America.

So in the professions or in academia you are playing a numbers game- a lottery. Do not focus on qualifications because the gatekeepers don't care about qualifications. Their decisions are based on risk- if you are good at what you do that's fine- unless you are too good- which is bad because then you could upset the status quo which is priority 1. A good entry position is to NOT stand out- to satisfy MINIMAL requirements and to blend into the organization. Your application is a purely random consideration from a field of identically unremarkable space fillers and you are in a casino. Just play the odds and don't view any of this as a reflection on yourself and don't be a fool by taking any of it personally.

In personal relationships, rejection is a reflection and extension of the social policy just stated. If you are rejected by a member of the opposite sex, the rejection is simply a signal that you have out-stepped your assigned class, that you are engaging in vertical social migration and an automated alert has been dispatched. You would be wise to heed the signal and retreat to your own lane. This should upset you no more than a warning flash of the freeway if you attempted to merge in an unsafe manner. Just be grateful that this is one fender bender prevented!

This is where you are, where you already were all along. This system has always existed and it isn't worth sacrificing anything, including your self esteem, for. When you receive rejection it is reassurance that all is normal, as it should be, that the status quo is intact and that you will be fine. You should only become alarmed if you experience a cascade of acceptance that lies well outside the normal range of probability. This could be an indicator of trouble brewing, that you are being set up and it's time to start looking over your shoulder. A notice of rejection is a ticket to freedom and should always be met with a sigh of relief.

Learn more about this author, Mike Mueller.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.