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Why people struggle with honesty

by R Shimoda

Created on: May 02, 2009   Last Updated: May 05, 2009

Sweet and short, it boils down to ones ego vs the rest of the world. I could pontificate for pages and use all the technical jargon ("resultant of inherent internal struggles between the id and superego manifestations...") but inevitably one would either click on the "Select" button or worse yet, "Skip" command located at the bottom of the articles.

If you're still with me, allow me to elaborate just a bit. No equations or technical jargon, I promise. To be honest or have that reputation it denotes one who is willing to do the right thing in spite of any personal loss or discomfort. In many cases it may stretch past the individual to the family or other loved ones such as "Do I lie on my child's application so they can get free lunch even though we're on the edge of not qualifying for welfare because we almost make enough money?"

For the honest person, there is no question of what to do and wouldn't even get to the reflection portion of this issue. Whereas a person not as honest will rationalize it as "well, this is only temporary and we should be back on our feet soon." Whether these previous statement is true or not is debatable. Lies are like a snowball running down a hill. When it first starts, it's small but as it goes downhill, gains in size quickly and gets to a point where's there's no stopping. The best thing to do is not to play this game in the first place.

Honest people are individuals who are enlightened to realize there is something bigger than themselves and personal inconvenience is a minor consideration. At this point, it may be worth mentioning that the assumption is an honest person does what is right, which may be relative depending on what the rules are where you live. For example if a masochist (one who enjoys pain) wants an honest person to hit them in the head with a baseball bat, does the honest person do it? If they don't the masochist will be disappointed or worse on the other hand, if the honest person does hit them, what does that do to their standing as an honest person?

So honesty needs to be tempered with its close kissing cousin, compassion. To practice one without the other will ensure a lower chance of a person being honest. So to truly be honest one needs to learn to be compassionate towards others. I think if more folks tried to learn to do both, they'd find being honest a lot less painful and in some cases, fun. I would encourage any reader to try and do at least one honest thing a day and see what a difference it will make.

Learn more about this author, R Shimoda.
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