by Lori Buttermark

Created on: May 02, 2009   Last Updated: May 03, 2009

Ah, Father's Day.

Except for his birthday, this is the one occasion he shares the spotlight with no one and we get to spoil the head of household to the very best of our ability.

Dad is special in many ways. He is reputed for saying yes and taking the heat for us when Mom already gave us a flat "NO". Dad is our paternal silent partner" when life or a situation takes a turn for the not-so-good. He is our strength, yet is not immortal, for he has his private moments of heartache and tears.

By now, the family will have secretly gathered to discuss what to give Dad for his universal "special day." Gift ideas will be tossed around like Frisbees, including his favorite restaurant.

Checking his closet, we find clothes still bearing tags because of wrong size, style or color. Forget the tie and shirt idea. He could start his own clothes store. What's left?

Stop forcing stuff on Dad. Has anyone considered asking him directly what he really wants or how he would like to spend his day? Ask him for three choices. This way we have a guideline. What he doesn't know is that he will receive all three of his "favorite things", plus the main surprise, a cash gift. This is better than a gift certificate. This way he is not restricted to any one store. WAY TO GO!

Dad usually finds himself Chef-on-Duty at the family barbecue; despite how much he may "insist" loving it the task of cooking defeats the purpose of his "day of rest." Pull rank, force him to relax, feet up and hand him a "cold one"; hence, today he is a spectator, rather than a participant.

Dad says very little, but his eyes shine like beacons when surrounded by family; a gift in itself which cannot be validated with a "bow." Family "love, loyalty and respect" are truly his parental rewards.

The "soon-to-be" and "new" dads get to share in this spectrum, but on a different level. They are about to enter a world that will change their lives forever. The "unseen guest" whom will debut within months or whom already commands the family spotlight will bring new meaning to the word "commitment and flexibility" as well as the tests of strength and endurance for the eternal "twenty-four/seven."

For those dads who are no longer with us, this special day is "bittersweet." Childlike confidences have always dictated our dads are with us in spirit and watching over us, yet the consolation seems minimal since we cannot physically celebrate or embrace them. We have only our memories and the family photo album to sustain us. Special occasions should not create pressure. Unfortunately, we get so caught up in the "good intention", we lose sight of what the day is truly about. Sometimes less is more. Keep it simple and memorable.

Happy Dad's Day.

Enjoy!

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