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Those chubby little awkward hands, that you once held onto for dear life, are now the ones dearly comforting yours. The little boy that you dragged to dusty baseball fields is now chauffeuring you around in his "wheels"; while he proudly, yet gently, reminds you to fasten your seat belt. The little princess that you hesitantly walked into that huge preschool is now eagerly planning her college departure, room colors, and roommate choices; while barely pausing to catch her breath. The tiny eyes that lovingly strained to look up at Mommy, now look down to meet their reflection in your eyes. Yes, if you are among the truly lucky and blessed, you have become your child's friend, mentor and confidant.

To become a friend to your child is a natural progression in maturity; both our maturity and theirs. Becoming a friend to your child is not a compromise of your parenting rights, skills or behavior. The gift of friendship, to an adult child, is a precious gift , bestowed on the very purest relationships between a mature child and loving parent. Friendship and parenting are not exclusive of each other, like the sun and the moon, they co-exist in a very balanced way;-each one knowing when it is their time to shine, rise, and peacefully set.

How wonderful that the little child who once was afraid to question your authority, can now do so in a loving, respectful way. How blessed is the relationship between a parent and older child when you can agree to disagree, intelligently offer opinions, and both teach each other a thing or two in this amazing, confusing, beautiful world.

Consider if you would, the circle of life. It is indeed a dizzying circle, but it nonetheless exists. Your child is born with every possible physical and emotional need. If you have maneuvered the path of the circle correctly, and all the heavens have smiled down upon you, then this child will grow up into a confident, loving gift to humanity. Sure, you might have a few more wrinkles, a multitude of grey hairs, and a significantly lighter wallet, but your heart will be over flowing with an adult child that considers you his or her friend.

I can attest to the fact that this friendship is like no other. Clearly an adult can choose their own friends; and if your child "chooses" you as his friend, there is no greater compliment than this conscious selection. Being your older child's friend is a gift that they now bestow upon you, and you return the favor with the same loyalty and friendship.

The circle of life guarantees that life is fleeting and true friendships are to be treasured and cherished; just like a beautiful sunset or a rainbow after a storm. At some point, sadly, our children sometimes become our caretakers, our protectors. The period of life where you and your child mysteriously become "equals" as friends is a beautiful period in your life and a natural path in the circle.

Should your child become your friend ? Absolutely, say it strongly and fight fervently for the friendship. No greater gift have I been given, than the children who now consider me amongst his friends. They know I will always be their parent, their mentor; but how special to be called their best friend.

Learn more about this author, Nancy Todisco.
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