A long, long, long...(well, not actually THAT long ago...actually, approximately twenty minutes ago)... a young girl named Violetybleu was waiting, waiting for her Prince Charming to come and save her from the horribly wicked and evil Rabbit...
Wait, wait. Sorry. Wrong story...Here we go...ah, yes, that's much better...
Anyways, as I was saying, there was this young girl, named Violetybleu who was waiting...wait, there I go, off on the wrong story again. Please forgive me. I have a bit of a head cold, and am not thinking quite correctly at the present time.
Now, back to the PROPER story...
Violetybleu was waiting by the window, waiting for the Prince to come. (Now, mind you, this Prince was a very special Prince, a youngish man of about thirty years). Of course, being a Prince, he was a semi-important person...(well, only if you count a prince who is prince because of his mother's uncle's brother's cousin's nephew marrying into the Duke of Walls family important). Nevertheless, he was a prince of sorts. Violetybleu was preparing for their "fairytale evening." The Prince hadn't told her, wouldn't tell her, in fact, what he had planned.
"Hmmmm...what has that man got up his sleeves now?" the child wondered to herself while brushing her thick blackish hair in front of the cracked Mirror.
"Well, humph! I haven't a clue why you're asking me, of all objects," cried the Mirror indignantly. "I'd rather you left me out of your personal matters and affairs, child," the Mirror said.
"Oh, but I wasn't asking your advice, Mirror. I'm very sorry to have disturbed you," the poor girl whined.
"Hmmmph! So now you don't want my advice, even if I HAD offered it! I'm highly offended!" Mirror said.
"Just forget it, you old crackhead," Violetybleu quickly retorted.
"EXCUSE ME, child, but DID YOU JUST SAY WHAT I THINK YOU DID?!?" the Mirror raged.
"Yes, yes, of course I did. I always say things that I don't mean intentionally." she said.
This nonsense continued on, until the Prince arrived.
LATER...
(Newscaster's voice, reading, of all things, the daily news)
"Last night, a tragedy occurred. Violetybleu and Prince Charming were heading home last night, after a night out on the village. Violetybleu is here, live, and in the studio. Violetybleu?"
"Yes, thank you, Beast. Charming and I had gone out on the village for a bit of fun. We went to dinner first, at the Wolf Riding Inn. All was well. Yes, we did drink a bit of cider...ok, no. We drank a TON of cider. But who was complaining then.
We then left, and were on a roundabout way home. Suddenly, out of no where, a man appeared, and rushed off with my darling Prince Charming! Of course, I was hysterical. I did everything I could to stop my darling from being taken, but to no avail.
Charming seemed almost too willing to go...like he knew what that awful criminal was thinking...or like he could no longer stand my company! Could you ever believe that? Someone not enjoying MY wonderful, delightful company?
(EXTREMELY LOUD SCREAMING, RANTING, AND GENERAL RAVING)
"Charming, Charming...I knew it! I'd always suspected it...I knew you were a traitor! I just can't fathom it! I can't wrap my finite little mind around it. Why, why, why? Why did you leave me? I know I could be annoying, a twit, a bit of a backstabber, and a liar to boot, but other than those few, trivial flaws, I was perfect, utterly and completely flawless....CHARMING! Charming! CHARM...."
WE APOLOGIZE, BUT DUE TO THE EXTENSIVE LENGTH AND GRAPHIC CONTENT IN THE ABOVE REPORT, WE CANNOT ALLOW IT TO BE FURTHER BROADCAST. (INSTEAD, TRY LOOKING ON OUR WEBSITE, WHERE IT WILL BE POSTED WITHIN THE HOUR).
TWO YEARS LATER...
(Newscasters voice, gradually getting louder).
"It's now two years later, folks, and we'd liked to do a follow-up on the Charming and Violetybleu story. So here it is."
"Charming was found, approximately a week and a half after the incident. He now resides in Barbados, and is quote 'loving his new life.' end quote."
"Violetybleu, however, was immediately deported to the local sanatorium, where she currently resides, (and probably will for the rest of her life)."
"You see folks, all's well that ends well, and there are truly fairy tale endings."