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"Brains, more brains!" These are the words of most of our zombie friends when they appear on television or in the movies. What is interesting is this title. No matter the speed of the zombies, it does not really matter. The question should be, "Which zombies make you laugh more until your stomach hurts?" Going to the movie theater to watch a zombie movie is a lot of fun, but by the time it is all over, there is more popcorn and ice cold drinks that are thrown around then zombies that are killed in the movie itself. But since the question is which zombies are more effective, fast ones or slow ones, this writer will try to answer the question.

Fast or slow zombies? Are they any different? Most of the zombies that I see in the movies react to everything the same, they move the same, neither fast or neither slow. They usually are going after the same thing to survive and to add to their masses and that is the brains of those still living in the real world. So, with this said, it is not usually the zombies who appear to be moving slow or fast, it is the true actors who are trying to rid the world of the walking dead. These are the one's who are moving either too fast or too slow.

Before the actors of these movies figure it out, they are doing everything wrong when it comes to trying to kill off the zombies. What they should do is order a nuclear strike when they are all gathered in one place and this should put a quick end to such 'B' movies. Whoever gave such movies a 'B' rating? Should the rating be 'Z' for Zupid. Oops, sorry for the misspelling, this writer meant Stupid. Sorry, if this writer offended anyone, these movies are to make us sick, not laugh.

Since using nuclear weapons against the zombies won't work, then the best thing to do is to aim for the zombie's head. This usually kills them off. Then, once the actors and actresses run out of bullets (this is usually not the case since their weapons have unlimited rounds of bullets), they have to turn to axes, water hoses and rocks to kill the zombies. Such actions slow the zombies down and it takes for ever before they make it to the run down barn in the middle of nowhere. Gotta like the zombies who get run over by the nice antique pickup trucks as well. What is ashamed is that they usually get up from the road, begin to flail their arms and bob their heads back and forth. What is even more interesting is that somehow the getaway vehicle either breaks down or slows down as the actors and actresses turn around to see the damage they caused. This allows the slow going zombies a chance to catch up and eat the brains of the stars of the movie. Not such a bad idea, huh?

Soon, we will be seeing the ultimate of all zombie movies. It will incorporate actors like Chuck Norris, Steven Segall, Sylvester Stallone and actors that look like dead and past terrorists. Another great idea for a movie, huh? If someone comes up with it, will you please give this writer some credit? Thanks.

Brains, more brains, please!

Learn more about this author, David Brown.
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