by Joan Inong

Created on: May 01, 2009

Teenagers and adults often are on different pages of the book of life. Teenagers complain that adult, authority figures do not understand them, and adults feel as though teenagers do not take their advice to heart. But, where does this struggle to understand each other come from?

The teenage years are often misunderstood by those who have forgotten what those years are like. Though different environments and social circumstances shape each generation's meaning of "teenhood," all teenagers, at one point or another, have had similar experiences.

That is the reason why it seems hard to understand why teenagers and adults do not get along. It seems that the adults have forgotten what it is like to be a teenager, and the teenagers have forgotten how to act like teenagers in a mature fashion.

First, adults have forgotten what it is like to a be a teenager. So, when the teenager asks, "Can I go to this party tonight that doesn't end until 2 a.m.," the adult will obviously answer in a way that appears, to the teenager, as hostile. "No," is not simply no. It signifies the "end of the teen's social life" or a wonderful excuse for a silent treatment for a few days. Adults in this case should find ways that will communicate both their concern for the teen's well-being and an understanding of what teenhood is like.

At the same time, teenagers often forget how to act in a way that shows others they are soon-to-be adults. Instead, their understanding of adulthood is one of disdain and a whole lot of work. So, why not spend the years before adulthood doing things that will compensate for the long, boring years ahead? This, to adults, results in actions that appear "rebellious." This rebelliousness is a consequence of how adults and teenagers ultimately understand each other. They are separated not only by an age gap but also a mentality gap.

But, this struggle is only how society and the parties involved dictate it to be. It does not, at all, have to be a struggle. For, if we cannot understand each other through those generational or mentality gaps, then how can we understand ourselves when we get to those different phases in life? How will we prepare ourselves for those generations before us and after us? So, if we see that there should be no struggle there, we will soon realize that we could have positive relationships with one another, and we will also be able to better understand one another.

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