feelings gently.

Homosexuality can be a controversial topic, but it is one that children will learn about, either at home or from friends. Regardless of your personal beliefs, children should be taught to respect each other and this includes not judging or otherwise condemning other people based on their sexual orientation.

Gender-typing refers to labeling certain behaviors as being normal for a male or female. This is an old-fashioned notion that has lead to much confusion and hate. Men can be chefs or clothing designers or dancers, just as women can be police officers, scientists, or engineers. A person's interests in clothing, toys, or other subjects has nothing to do with sexuality or sexual orientation.

The Teen Years

As your child progresses through puberty, he or she is likely to be interested in dating. To maintain an open relationship, involve your child in the discussion about dating rules. It is often a good idea to start allowing young teens to go on "group dates" before they try dating one-on-one. This can be meeting a group of boys and girls at the movies, for laser tag, mini-golf, or any other social activity.

Even if you have maintained an open line of communication, you may find that your teenager is now less likely to open up about sex or dating. This is a normal part of growing up and becoming independent, but do not let your teen feel like he or she is alone in making decisions.

Initiate conversations that let your teen talk to you about his or her feelings. Ask direct questions about sex, without interrogating him or her about personal experience. Try asking some of the following questions and listen to your child's answers:

* Do you have any questions about sex?
* What steps can prevent pregnancy?
* What steps can prevent sexually transmitted diseases?
* How do you think a person might know when he or she is ready for sex?
* Do you think a person is ever obligated to have sex?
* What are some bad reasons to have sex?
* What are some good reasons to have sex?
* How would pregnancy affect your life?
* How would contracting a sexually transmitted disease affect your life?

Listening to your child's answers is important, even if you disagree. Telling a child he or she is wrong is not likely to change his or her mind. However, if you are open and show your child that you respect his or her feelings and personal decisions, your child will be more likely to listen to what you have to say on the matter.

While teaching children about sex can be a little uncomfortable, remember that as the parent, you set the tone for any discussion. If your approach is natural and open, it will encourage your children to speak freely with you, even on personal subjects.

Learn more about this author, Susan Quilty.
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