by Susan Quilty

Created on: May 01, 2009   Last Updated: June 24, 2009

Sex is an emotionally charged subject and one that can be awkward for parents and children alike. However, there are ways to make "The Talk" more comfortable for everyone involved.

At some point, your child will have questions about sex. If you want your child to come to you for advice, instead of getting questionable information from his or her friends, you must establish an open line of communication. This begins well before your child reaches puberty.

Laying the Groundwork

When your child is very young, he or she will begin to notice the differences between boys and girls. Do not let embarrassment keep you from being honest with your child. There is nothing shameful about the human body.

Teach toddlers the correct terms for their body parts. Terms like penis, vagina, and breasts are appropriate for toddlers. When you substitute other cutesy words for these parts of the body, you send the message that they are shameful, silly, or embarrassing in some way.

To protect children from predators, explain about personal privacy and that the places that are covered by a bathing suit are considered "private parts". Our bodies are our own and we each decide who is allowed into our personal space.

It is normal for toddlers to touch their bodies. It is a natural part of learning about themselves. Be careful not to shame toddlers over this behavior. Simply explain that it is not appropriate to touch themselves in public.

Approaching Puberty

As your child approaches puberty, his or her body will begin to change. He or she will also hear about sex and sexual changes from friends or at school. Many schools offer some kind of Family Life Education which will usually include sex education. Being familiar with the school curriculum will help you present a consistent message to your child. You may opt to talk to your child ahead of the school program, but be sure to talk to him or her after the school classes meet as well.

Teaching children about sexuality also involves teaching them about respecting other people. You can begin by simply talking about dating, holding hands, or kissing. Talk about why people might like to do these things. It is also a good idea to talk about how to handle the new feelings that your child will begin to experience. Talk about how to handle developing feelings of affection for another person and how to handle a situation where your child is the object of someone else's affection. It is never too early to talk about treating other people's

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