High Pressure Teens
Far from the greatest time of an adolescent's life, high school is one of the most turbulent periods of time a young adult may ever have to negotiate. Popular culture has painted a picture of high school that is both idealistic and unattainable. The teen years are a time of seeking an identity. Television, novels, music, and magazines are more than willing to provide an image for today's youth to assume. The lack of parental guidance exacerbates a situation already compounded by peer pressure, the onset of puberty and a demand for overall scholastic excellence. If parents despise it, the media encourages it and peers are doing it, a teen will want to try it.
Peer pressure in the teen years is tremendous and it's not about which gaming system or iPod you might be lucky enough to have. Young people today are faced with life threatening decisions at a time when they are most likely, developmentally, unable to utilize sound judgement. On a daily basis high school students are weighing and deciding whether or not to engage in sexual relationships, take drugs, drink, steal and cheat. The desire to fit in is enormous; the possibility of succumbing to these pitfalls almost moot. Opportunities are available in almost every community that allow a teen to join a club, sport or activity with adult mentors. In some cases these will make all the difference for a young person. Too often though money and family time constraints make these extra-curricular activities unavailable.
Puberty is, by nature, a time of introspection and self-doubt. Teens don't want to look good. They want to look right. That's why they leave the house each morning the image of their parent's fondest dream, turn the corner and tug their pants down, pull their shirts out and turn their caps around. They want very much to please their parents but they feel the need to impress their peers even more. This is the time in life when kids are deciding who they are and what they stand for. Style and language trends are part of that. Many adults reject their children's choices out of hand because they are different from their own experiences and selections. Parents are not available to monitor every choice made by their children. More and more often enforcing compliance to social norms is left to the schools.
Scholastic performance has become the be all and the end all of the expectations adults have for their children. Combined with a job, MCAS, SAT's, college applications, and the daily stresses of homework, a job and, household responsibilities it shouldn't surprise anyone that the youth of today is stressed out. Our children struggle with an enormous volume of homework and research. Most parents will readily admit that the level of work as well as the subject content far surpasses what was required of them in their high school careers. The increasing levels of depression and teen suicide attest to the toll being exacted in the pursuit of conformity to impossibly high standards.
Unfortunately, all of this happens at a time when the young people are least likely to confide in their parents or accept constructive criticism and advice. All too often the token effort of acknowledgment to a teen juggling huge demands is less supervision and parental support with more latitude. Parents work hard to give their children the best money can buy and they are tired. It takes a lot of energy and imagination to parent a teenager. It is especially difficult after a hard day of work and satisfying the needs of other siblings. Care givers can be lulled into a sense of false security. They want to believe that their children can take care of themselves and that the schools will help but this is just not the case. No individual graduating from high school at age 17 or 18 is ready to be cut loose in society able to fend for himself. Those who do not step up to the plate are destined to watch helplessly as their children flounder along trying to make the best of poor decision making and its repercussions.