by Joan Inong

Created on: May 01, 2009

Gifts are meant to enhance an already wonderful relationship. Gifts have a social value, not a materialistic or economic value.

The very act of giving signifies something that is greater than the gift-giver. In pre-industrialized societies, gifts were tokens of social relationships. They signified nothing more than that a friendly relationship between peoples is being maintained. So, for instance, a necklace given by a person to another person from a neighboring tribe may not have any material value, but it still holds social value to the relationship between the two people from different tribes. In essence, the necklace symbolizes their coming together, or their peace.

In modern society, giving is likewise a two-fold experience: if a person receives a gift, the other is obliged to give a gift in return. In some societies, the recipient need not return the favor, but in many other societies, returning the favor completes the process of gift-giving. Here too, the focus is not on the price of the gifts, or what the gifts are, but the actions of the gift-givers. It is that they choose to give gifts that is of importance.

Thus, when we say that the materialistic value of presents usually undermines the social value of those presents, we are looking at a change for the worst. This change is apparent in both children's relationships and adult relationships.

Another necessary observation that must be made is that, for any gift-giving occasion, leaving on price tags and showing receipts for gifts is not allowed. So, we try to wipe out any traces of mention of the gift's price, whether we do it for fear of embarrassment or to emphasize the true value of the present is unknown and cannot be concluded empirically. But, because we try to hide the material value of the present, we somehow communicate how the gift-giving experience must be done. We expect the other person to judge a gift's value, not by its price but by its value to the recipient. So, in any gift-giving experience, the two gifts involved will usually not have the same price, but will be invaluable to both recipients.

Therefore, a gift is called a gift because it signifies an act that is purely from the heart, so that, no matter how inexpensive or expensive the gift may be, its value rests entirely on the gift-giver's relationship to the recipient. It is, essentially, their relationship that determines the value of the gift.

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