by Danielle Skeldon

Created on: May 01, 2009

I screamed. I kicked the air. I flailed my arms. I threw myself to the floor and BEGGED my child to please, Please, PLEEEEEASE buy me that Dyson vaccum cleaner because I knew he had enough money in his piggy bank and well, let's face it, I have been a REALLY good mommy lately.

By the time store security arrived, my son had in fact stopped his crying, whining and begging for the $89 leggo star wars set, and had actually hung his head in embarrassment. This was the third time he began a tantrum in a store after being told no, and as I had warned him the last time, "three strikes ,you're out". In the end he would be far more embarrassed than I would. I can honestly say he was. I, however was not embarrassed in the least because I knew that in this day and age I was doing what I had to to teach my child a lesson- And I didn't lay a hand on him.

It's sad that these days we have to stoop to such levels just to get the same points across that in the past could have been made blatently clear with a firm slap on the fanny. I'm not saying I want to beat my child, but I am questioning whether the amount of phycho nonsense we sink into basic everyday issues with our kids is really any better for them in the long run than a little wack on the butt. Parents are scrutinized by society almost as much as the President in this country, and I think it's rediculous. Yes, we need to protect our children. But the system in place for doing just that seems to hurt our kids as much, if not more, than it helps them. If a parent is seen slapping a child's hand to prevent a more serious injury, that child , and their siblings are in danger of being taken away into a system that can only "do it's best" to oversee their welfare. So what is a parent to do?

The fear of losing our children has caused the American parent to lose control. No, hitting isn't nessesarily the best way to deal with every problem, but neither are hour long discussions about behavior with children who's attention span is only about 5 minutes at best. I feel this can actually really hurt a child. Sure, it seems logical to just talk to your kids. But, as bright and amazing as they are, kids are kids. They don't need or want to understand things through adult eyes. And I think expecting that of them is robbing them of their innocence while, at the same time beating at their self esteem. If you have to constantly take away privlages, and spend hours droning on about things your child can't understand, then I feel the end result is a spiritless child, and exhausted parents. The slap on the hand , or the butt, results in the child not doing something again, even if he/ she doesn't know why. Point taken, they can go right back to being a kid.

It's not a child's job to understand everything, but it is a parents job to keep their kids safe, and to mold them into decent , respectable grownups. I think the judgements society has put on discipline hinder us from getting the job done, and it's sad. Somehow I think we need to find a balance, something that restores the courage in parents to do right by their kids with discipline, but also looks out for the rights of every child. For every child who genuinely needs to call human services on their parents, their are probably 10 threatening to call because they can't get what they want. It's an imperfect situation, and I fear that the future adults our kids will become will suffer.

People may stare at me and critisize the outrageous and, to be honest often comical, ways I discipline my child, but I am doing the best I can within the limits. As any parent knows, that is all you can do .

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