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~~ Reasons why pizza is the ultimate meal for college students ~~

* It comes right to the door: In a recent study of 171 college students spanning four states, 68% said that they prefer their pizzas to be delivered. We can only conclude that this preference stems from their reluctance to step away from their homework. Only 21% were willing to tear themselves away from their devotion to education by picking up their pizzas. Lastly, 11% chose to devour their pizzas by dining in.

* Timing: 21% of students surveyed said they order pizza after 11 p.m. due to symptoms of late-night muchinitis. Many restaurants are closed by this hour, so the availability of pizza helps maintain its popularity with collegiate munchers.

* Discount coupons: A staggering 66% of students surveyed said that they clip coupons for discounts on their pizzas. We can only assume that these industrious students strive to save money on their pizzas so that they can invest in additional school supplies.

* Safety: One feisty student underscores that when under the influence, he relies on pizza delivery to ensure that he does not try to drive late at night in search of food. Thus, pizza helps prevent drunken foraging in the wee hours of the morning.

* Effortlessness: One college student states that she enjoys the fact that pizza requires "no energy or time to heat." This education-friendly characteristic about pizza enables students to stay on task longer.

* Math enhancement: Another student notes a preference for pizza, "Because a cheap large carry-out pizza can last for at least 2, usually 3 meals for around or under $6." Pizza promotes good math skills by prompting students to work out meal-time equations.

* Helps the transition into adulthood: Yet another future leader notes that she likes pizza because she can eat it whenever she wants. Hmph. What do you think of that, mom and dad? Obviously this student may have suffered from a pizza-deprived childhood, and is flexing her brand new pizza-eating muscles.

* Hot or cold: Another student says he finds pizza to be delicious hot or cold. Thus pizza offers an extra slice of versatility to college conscious diners.

* 24/7/365: Lastly, one razor-sharp student notes that it can be eaten as breakfast, lunch, dinner, or at all points in between. This enables students to thwart hunger, which helps them study much more effectively.

Brrrrrrrng!

"Hello? "

"Have I reached Ettapizza University?"

"Yeah. Wassup?"

"I'm writing a story that explains why pizza is the ultimate

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