"It's good that Tommy saw you giving birth. It'll make him appreciate all the pain you went through to give him a child," my mother said sternly.
I laughed. It was obvious my father did no such thing when I was born and Mom was still resentful of it. But things were different back then. Dads were pretty much out of the picture. Their duty was done upon conception and would resume once the child was home. The father's role had only been to provide shelter and such for the child until it was on its own some two decades later. Other than that it was all Mom's doing.
I had not expected my Tommy to want to see the birth of our children. He hadn't seemed too thrilled with the prospect of children at all. Yes, we had talked about having kids before we married and we both wanted at least two. As matter of fact it was on our third date that he not only told me we would marry (no, he never bothered to ask. He just assumed) but we actually names three of our four kids. It was all very casual.
"Of course we'll have kids. It's what married people do," Tommy said with a careless shrug.
But after I was popping-at-the-seams pregnant he was rather blase about it. I should have worried but he was very blase about most things. It was just his way. But I was so nervous with the first child and thought up of all sorts of awful scenarios.
"What if we can't afford the baby and they take him away from us?" I asked when I first found out I was pregnant.
"Don't worry. I'll just make more money," Tommy answered oh-so-calmly.
"What if the house is too drafty for the baby and he constantly gets sick?" I asked.
"Don't worry. Brandon will be very healthy. I'll make sure we're all warm," he reassured.
"Isn't gaining fifty pounds too much?" I asked him in dismay upon coming back from a doctor visit two weeks before my due date.
"Don't worry about it. You'll be fine and Brandon, too. He's been kicking you something awful. That means he's healthy," Tommy replied as he read the sports page. "Might turn out to be a soccer player."
It seemed nothing could faze Tommy so I relaxed. When the doctor asked if he wanted to be there for the birth he looked confused and a bit ticked off.
"Where the heck else would I be? It's my kid too," he said told the doctor.
"Really, Tommy? You want to?" I asked uncertainly. I knew no males in my family ever were present for the birth of their children. It was just not done in our part of the world. I knew nothing of what to expect and I wasn't certain about wanting Tommy to witness me like that.
"You don't have to if you don't want to," I said.
"Of course I want to! You're my wife. We made this baby together. I remember. I was there. I'm gonna be here when he's born, too. Okay?" he said vehemently.
"Okay," I replied a bit astonished but mostly scared.
The doctor smiled. "There's a good dad. Your job will be to keep Glory focused. Think you can do that?" he asked brightly.
"Sure," Tommy replied and grinned at me.
Of course he could grin then and also when the time came. He wasn't lying there with his legs apart showing his world to the world as I was doing and that's not even speaking of all that pain. But I was wonderfully glad he was there whispering soothing words and making me laugh when I was on the verge of crying. He made everything better just by being there, holding my hand, soothing back my hair, doing anything he could think of. He didn't complain once though he did admonish me for messing up the doctor's shoes when my water broke.
"I'm pretty sure he can afford another pair of shoes with the money we'll be paying him, Tommy," I said, incredibly annoyed.
"You're right," he concurred and kissed me. Annoyance gone.
When the baby finally came out the biggest sense of relief washed over me. The pain, most of it anyway, was gone but I didn't hear any crying. That scared me.
"Tommy, why isn't the baby crying? Why isn't Brandon crying?" I asked shakily.
"Because she's mad at you," the doctor answered happily, holding up the tiny being he had just extracted from my body. "She's a girl and you've been calling her Brandon all this time. I don't think she likes the name."
We stared at her in amazement. She stared right back all wide-eyed, looking quite content and not a peep from her. "Oh...it's Alexis. Tommy, it's Alexis not Brandon. Are you disappointed?" I asked fearfully.
Tommy grinned again and with tears in his eyes he shook his head. He took the baby from the nurse, stared at her a minute then rubbed his nose with hers. He then showed her to me. "Great job, Honey. She's beautiful. She's got Christmas-tree-green eyes."
Christmas-tree-green eyes? That's when I knew he was getting delusional. Perhaps he hadn't slept enough. Well, neither did I. Yes, dads need to know they are important from the very beginning. It's not all about the mom or just about the baby. It's totally a group effort. Each birth of our children was just that and each very special too.