"It's good that Tommy saw you giving birth. It'll make him appreciate all the pain you went through to give him a child," my mother said sternly.
I laughed. It was obvious my father did no such thing when I was born and Mom was still resentful of it. But things were different back then. Dads were pretty much out of the picture. Their duty was done upon conception and would resume once the child was home. The father's role had only been to provide shelter and such for the child until it was on its own some two decades later. Other than that it was all Mom's doing.
I had not expected my Tommy to want to see the birth of our children. He hadn't seemed too thrilled with the prospect of children at all. Yes, we had talked about having kids before we married and we both wanted at least two. As matter of fact it was on our third date that he not only told me we would marry (no, he never bothered to ask. He just assumed) but we actually names three of our four kids. It was all very casual.
"Of course we'll have kids. It's what married people do," Tommy said with a careless shrug.
But after I was popping-at-the-seams pregnant he was rather blase about it. I should have worried but he was very blase about most things. It was just his way. But I was so nervous with the first child and thought up of all sorts of awful scenarios.
"What if we can't afford the baby and they take him away from us?" I asked when I first found out I was pregnant.
"Don't worry. I'll just make more money," Tommy answered oh-so-calmly.
"What if the house is too drafty for the baby and he constantly gets sick?" I asked.
"Don't worry. Brandon will be very healthy. I'll make sure we're all warm," he reassured.
"Isn't gaining fifty pounds too much?" I asked him in dismay upon coming back from a doctor visit two weeks before my due date.
"Don't worry about it. You'll be fine and Brandon, too. He's been kicking you something awful. That means he's healthy," Tommy replied as he read the sports page. "Might turn out to be a soccer player."
It seemed nothing could faze Tommy so I relaxed. When the doctor asked if he wanted to be there for the birth he looked confused and a bit ticked off.
"Where the heck else would I be? It's my kid too," he said told the doctor.
"Really, Tommy? You want to?" I asked uncertainly. I knew no males in my family ever were present for the birth of their children. It was just not done in our part of the world. I knew nothing of what to expect and I wasn't certain
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