by Melinda Barr

Created on: April 30, 2009   Last Updated: August 11, 2009

"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get". (Tom Hanks character in the movie Forest Gump).
We cannot return to the past and change the choices we made. What we can do, however, is choose to deal with the past, and alter the course of the present and the future.

Very often in life, we ignore the baggage of the past and try to make the necessary adjustments to either ignore it or bury it. What we should be doing perhaps is becoming conscious of our patterns and what triggers them. We need to be in touch with what we are feeling and how we respond to those feelings. In other words, perhaps a bit of housekeeping may be in order.

~ Becoming Aware

Look at your life and examine where you are today, and how you got there. Be honest and answer these questions. Is this where I want to be at this point in my life? Is this the best that I can hope to achieve, both for myself and for my loved ones? Can I make changes for the better with my partner, my family, my relationships, and myself? Do I fully understand the concept of self-love and acceptance? Am I the best (person, mother, partner, and friend) that I can be?
What you know and believe about yourself has unfolded through the patterns in your life. Look not only at your relationships with others, but examine the relationship you have with yourself. Visualize what you would like to accomplish in life, and what steps are necessary to help get you there.

~ Unpack old baggage and throw away the junk

We all have emotional wounds of some sort, many from the past, some from the present, and still others that are self-inflicted. If self-condemnation, remorse, or regret is something you are living with, face it, figure out how to get past it, and then kick it to the curb once and for all. To successfully transition through life, we have to accept the mistakes and missteps we may have made along the way. We are human beings, therefore we are not perfect, and we all make mistakes. It is how we deal with these mistakes that can make the difference between a fulfilled life or a life lived with regrets. Forgive yourself for mistakes you have made in the past; and forgive others for any transgressions made toward you. Remember, you may make mistakes but mistakes do not make "you".

~ Practice healthy maintenance & repair

A strong self- image can be like a barrier between yourself and the real or perceived threats of life. Every human being wants and needs love and affection. A self-reliant, emotionally healthy person also wants to give love. This person doesn't sit back and wait for something "good" to come to him he gives to himself and to others freely and willingly.

We all tend to seek professional assistance or advice from our mechanics, home-repair people, beauticians, dentists and so on, with little thought to perceived weaknesses or shame. At the same time, few of us have the same ability to seek help with personal, emotional, mental, or relationship issues. We need to remove the stigma that exists in these areas of our lives. Seeking emotional help is no less important than seeking physical help, and in many cases it is actually more important.

In summary, to get more out of life you need to give more, both to yourself and to others.

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