2 of 25

Write now Article Tools

Having dealt with my biological father all my life, I feel like a bit of an expert in this area. So you get an idea of where I'm coming from, let me give you a bit of a background.

My parents divorced when I was 7 years old, because my father would never, I mean NEVER, hold a steady job. In fact, often times my mom worked 2 jobs just to feed us kids. After the divorce, my dad moved back in with his parents. He stopped coming to see us, and when we'd go to see him, he would leave. He never went to any of the school functions he was invited to. He never met any of my friends or boyfriends. When my oldest sister had his first grandchild, he didn't even care. When I got married at 17, he got upset that he wasn't invited to a small court room wedding that was over 2000 miles away, and when I explained why, he got angry. So, when that marriage didn't last, and I re-married, I invited my father. This time it was a large wedding, only a few miles away. He didn't come. I have not seen or heard from my dad in 2 years. He's been replaced and out done by my step-dad, who walked me down the aisle and has been there for me since I was a little girl. All of that said, I've found a few ways that help me when trying to deal with my biological father's extreme lack of caring.

1. I always tell myself that it is NOT MY FAULT. The child should never, EVER take the blame for a parent who is a slacker. No child should feel that they are the reason their dead beat parent does not care about them. If you are the ex of a dead beat parent, be sure your child knows that it is not their fault in any way.

2. Be the bigger person. Whether you are a child of a loser parent, or the ex of one, take the first step toward reconciliation. At that point, the ball is in their court, and you're off the hook for anything they might try to blame you for later on. You can relax and say, "Hey, I tried."

3. Don't hate them. It's hard, especially if you're a single parent who isn't getting child support, but once you start hating them, they win. It hurts even more to be the child and realize your parent doesn't love you, but again, if you hate them for it, they win.

Sometimes it's just easier to break off all contact with a dead beat parent than to keep putting forth so much effort only to get nothing in return. In my mother's case, she gave up on trying to get child support as soon as she realized he would never pay. It made it rough growing up sometimes, not having that money, but in the long run, it was also much better for me and my sibling, not having to see our parents fight all the time.

Learn more about this author, Aurianna.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about Dealing with dead beat parents?
We want to hear your view. Write now!