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Parenthood

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Should a parent move from parent to friend as children grow older?

Results so far:

Yes
52% 112 votes Total: 215 votes
No
48% 103 votes

Parents should never relinquish their roles, however much their children grow. It is expected that as your children transcend adolescence into adulthood they may expect some leniency as far as parental guidance is concerned. Nevertheless, it would be a misfortune to believe that you must abandon parenthood for friendship during this time when it is perfectly plausible to be both a parent and a friend to your child.

Adulthood is a large umbrella under which several other roles come together. As your child grows older and graduates from college, becomes established in their desired career, becomes a spouse and/or a parent, amongst other things they will continue to need the consistency of your leadership as a parent, and as a moral compass of sorts. Individuals are ever changing, and this offers the opportunity for several missteps. Being a steady parent and constant friend may benefit the relationship you share with your child, as well as their life decisions.

When dealing with your children, however, you should always exercise a degree of respect. It is easier to be both a parent and a friend when your child understands that you respect them as an individual and have their best interest at heart.

As I have matured into adulthood, I have come to share a friendship with my mother. She has been the most consistent friend in my life, and has known me at my best and worst. Still, when she offers me advice, I know that she (unlike all of my other friends, whose opinions tend to be very one-dimensional) has a vested interest in my happiness, success, and future. This is something only a parent can genuinely offer to their children, and to renounce your role as a parent when your child grows older, would also mean surrendering this advantage that parents have to friends when advising your child.

Perhaps the best way to understand the advantage of being both a friend and parent to your adult child is: Feel like a parent, Speak like a friend.

There is a passion in parenthood that cannot be matched by any other role on this earth. This is something your adult child will never understand until they themselves become parents.

However, when people turn to their friends, it's because they understand that they will be advised from an even playing field. Friends rarely speak from a superior tone, and when you are a parent, it is difficult to alter your tone from that of leadership and superiority to equality.

Blending these two, passion and friendliness, will generate the greatest relationship you could ever hope for between you and your child.

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Below are the top articles rated and ranked by Helium members on:

Should a parent move from parent to friend as children grow older?

No
  • 1 of 6

    by Jen M. Hernandez

    Parents should never relinquish their roles, however much their children grow. It is expected that as your children transcend

    read more

  • 2 of 6

    by Heather Funches

    In no way should the parent move solely to a friend standing in their child's life. Our children need to understand that

    read more

Yes
  • 1 of 12

    by Robin Tidwell

    The goal of raising children is to move them from dependence to independence; this means that eventually your child will

    read more

  • 2 of 12

    by Nancy Todisco

    Those chubby little awkward hands, that you once held onto for dear life, are now the ones dearly comforting yours. The little

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