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Reflections: Depression

by Faye Hill

Created on: April 29, 2009

Dear you,

Are you okay? It seems like you've been quiet lately.Thinking perhaps? Guilt? Cat got your tongue? Ha Ha, grandpa loved that one. Remember when he use to cradle you to his chest when you would fall off your bike? Father was to drunk to realize his daughters life taking flight, a waste of a daughter right? Who wants a broken girl? I recall you asking yourself that, once or twice right before school and before you fell asleep to endure the nightmares.

Your eyes have changed you know? The darkened brown has peeled away several shades lighter almost like your life's being drained. I've noticed an irrigular sleeping pattern too dear. Is it that boy that sleeps next to you? A painful beauty isn't he? Do you like the way he kisses you? It seems like it yet your smile is never real. You know he watches you when you sleep, like a guardian, he loves you. You don't seem to believe it but you return the words, meaningless and almost a question. "I love you?"

How's the weather in your new place? Cold? Rainy? Curiosity's got the best of me I'm afraid, I've watched how you curl into yourself, breaths uneven and loud. Are you scared? I can tell and you despise the feeling. Your not use to this side of of you. It's a pain like no other, a hurt you can't see but agonizes your thoughts. Your drowning in your own self-pity. Where's your laugh now? It's shadowed by your tears. It's hard now just to smile isn't it? You want to simply not be, to be dried up with the morning dew. Can it be that easy? Do you believe that there's life after death? You seem to be living deaths itself already, so whats left?

Have you looked into the mirror today? Yesterday? I wish you could see what I see, but your caught up in feelings, you can't care right now can you? Your possessed by something that's pulling you in and out of darkness. I've seen the way to saunter around in your clothes from days before unable to see your reflection. Hollow and desperate.

I've noticed a lack in activity, seems to me your dieing. Is that it? deadened to your surroundings, a vegetableto life? You left to win but you've lost. Is it attention you desire? You flinch as if it were an accusation. No, just a thought. Your not all there,I can tell, your movements jerky and never picking up where you last left off. Your heart beat has trouble sometimes, it knows somethings different, it's slowed down to match your pace.

Until a later date, Signed you

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