by Helium01

Created on: April 29, 2009

Divorce Decision-Making

Should you get a divorce? Why people should get divorced is as varied as why they should get married. What reasons would you have for getting divorced? Common reasons include:

1. Infidelity: sexual, financial, emotional

2. Lack of trust: addiction, adultery, secrets

3. Neglect: never present, never home, often an indicator of infidelity of any of the kinds listed above

4. Abuse: whether physical, emotional, or merely threatened

If you choose to leave, the next decisions you make are crucial.

1. Should you get an attorney? The answer to this is always yes.

2. Should you sign a quit claim to any property? The answer is usually no. Never sign away rights to property that you are financially obligated, such as your name on a loan.

3. When is the right time to get a divorce? Consult an attorney on this. You may want to wait to ensure you can claim your spouse's social security or pension income. You may need to gather evidence to strengthen claims for more child support or alimony. However, if physical safety is a concern, always get out as soon as possible.

4. What do you have, and how do you protect your interests? Talk to a divorce attorney and CPA, Certified Public Accountant, on how to protect assets. Whether you live in a community property state or not, know what needs to be done so that you do not walk away without a proper division of the family property. Defensive legal action, working to develop an inventory of assets, or even hiring a private investigator before your spouse begins taking their own pre-divorce actions could be critical.

5. What should you do about your ex-husband or ex-wife?

First, never bad mouth your spouse in front of your children, or else you risk accusations of parental alienation syndrome.

Second, never, ever accuse your spouse of sexual abuse unless it has actually happened. While claims of sexual abuse immediately force your spouse out of the home and give you full and uncontested custody, this is also illegal and can lead to criminal charges against you.

Third, for all the reasons you have to leave, do not begin an emotional tit for tat or tug of war game. The more animosity poured into the divorce, however good it feels for that moment to vent, the more likely the other partner is to make the divorce nasty. When that happens, only the divorce lawyers win.

Deciding to divorce is only a first step. Protecting yourself, your family, and your future is a longer journey that can only be made safely by asking the right decisions before you walk out the door.

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