by M.A. Dal Cero

Created on: April 29, 2009   Last Updated: August 06, 2009

The method of time-out is an effective and gentle manner in which to discipline children of many ages. It focuses mainly on removing the child from the situation which is causing the behavior problem. This period of detachment from the area in which the offense occurred allows children to calm down, and to safely release any frustration they might be feeling. The child is usually placed in an area specifically designated as a time-out location, such as a particular chair, and is then asked to contemplate what he or she did wrong. Ideally, the child should then be capable of determining why the behavior was inappropriate, and therefore, be less likely to repeat it in the future.

It is typically suggested that children spend an amount of time in time-out which coincides with their age. For example, a child who is three years of age should spend no more than three minutes in time-out. The thinking behind this is that a child who is removed from a situation for too long, or too short, a period of time does not fully grasp the reason why she is there in the first place, and consequently, the behavior might not change. Also, particularly in the case of a child who is permitted to leave time-out too soon, the punishment will not be taken very seriously, and therefore, the desired lesson will not be learned.

Most individuals agree that the parent or caregiver should not converse with the child when he or she is in time-out. Rather, when the recommended time has elapsed, the parent should then ask the child if he understands the reason for the time-out. The majority of the time, children will comprehend why their behavior was not acceptable. The parent should then reinforce why the action the child took was not permitted, and why it should not be repeated. Also, a clear and concise explanation of a preferable action should be provided to the child. It is then possible to ask the child to apologize, to assure him that he is loved unconditionally, and to move forward with the day. It is important to note that there are some children who will refuse to sit in the designated time-out area. The parent might then opt to gently prevent the child from leaving the area, such as by standing nearby and continually placing the child back in the time-out section until he is able to sit quietly.

Time-out is intended to be a tender, yet firm style of child discipline, and therefore, no force should ever be used in conjunction with it. Children learn far more from being treated with a combination of fairness and firmness, as opposed to any form of punishment which causes them harm or fear. Time-out is one of the most effective forms of discipline for this reason, and many find it to be a wonderful and beneficial alternative to various other methods.

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