by Jackeline Vzquez

Created on: April 29, 2009

Will I copy my parent's parenting style?

Most definitely, without a doubt I will. I was very fortunate that both my parents were excellent parents. They never abused their authority, their words were never said to cut down or devalue, and they had an excellent mix of strictness and affection. On top of that we could never catch them on a separate front about issues. Dad knew what mom's stance was on issues and vice versa and to try to trick them otherwise or put them against each other was to invite punishment. They have been excellent examples of what to do and I will be lucky if I can be half as good a parent as they were. I just cannot say enough about how good they are.

My mom was the disciplinarian at home. She demanded respect this was a big thing for her. We did not dare talk back to her in any circumstance. I remember her yelling at me "I hear you talking behind my back!" We did not get away with any of that mess. Making a tantrum in a store was to us unfathomable. There are three of us children in the family and I don't ever remember any of us making a big wailing fuss in public. We had such a fear of her. We would not dare. The consequences would be dire. I remember when we first moved to the US from Puerto Rico my mom specifically telling me "children here have a bad habit of telling their parents they hate them, you will never say this to me do you understand? Because I am your mother not just some tart off the street." That expression was never used at home. My mother was not the kind of woman to say just wait till your father gets home. No she handled her business herself. She had all the authority to do so. Plus she was really good at disciplining us in that she would act like she had forgotten an offense and catch us off guard when we least expected it. Starting her spanking with "Do you remember when you did this? Well I have not forgotten and I could not get you then but I'll get you now." Her main form of disciplining was spankings with a shoe or a belt (the shoe thing is a very Latin thing). She would sometimes place her shoe beside us and say "I dare you to disobey." I remember I tried to get her once with the whole "I'm going to call the police on you." I laugh now when I think about it, because she said, "Go ahead honey because if you do, by the time I finish with you they'll need to take me to jail." She was not cowed at all!

She may sound quite oppressive but we did not feel that way at all. We all sit around and talk about how we will

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