by Olha Romaniuk

Created on: April 28, 2009

What does insecurity in relationships stem from? Past experiences, most likely. How does insecurity manifest itself? It does so through jealousy, doubt and second-guessing. It also does so through mistrust, when no matter what your partner tells you, you find yourself questioning him or her, trying to catch him or her in a lie. If you are in a committed relationship with a partner, the insecurity issues manifesting themselves on a regular basis can damage and even ruin a potentiality of continuing this relationship. No one can be with a mistrusting person for too long, because no matter what is said or done - the questions and the self-proclaimed search for the "truth" may never stop.

Many people feel insecure and nervous when they are meeting someone new for the first time, or just starting a new relationship. This is perfectly normal. At the beginning stages of the dating game, insecurity is a natural part of the process of getting to know a new person. This insecurity may come from being afraid to reveal too much too soon, or from not being able to live up to the seemingly high standards of the other party. This insecurity, if a new relationship has any chance of surviving it on a long-term basis, is a passing feeling, as when two people begin to get to know each other more, they start feeling more at ease and more trusting of one another.

Other insecurities that arise in more seasoned relationships can stem from past experiences and unresolved emotional baggage that sometimes comes with them. Fear of rejection, fear of intimacy or fear of losing an identity are all factors that can play into the insecurities of one or both parties in a relationship. While it is true that no one should enter a new relationship completely openly and trusting - this state of mind is foolish as some people can, that way, take advantage of that vulnerability and trust and wreck havoc and farther damage on a person's psyche. However, it is also true that it is simply not healthy to shut yourself off completely after having a negative experience in the past - this behavior is not conducive to leading into a long-term, intimate relationship.

Shutting yourself off from the world of dating can feel like a safe thing to do - if no one touches your heart, no one can hurt it - but it also acts very much like a prison sentence, in that it dooms you to a life of aloneness. This behavior can come from past break-ups, when you were broken up with or dumped and left with hurt emotions, or it

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