by Anna Aquino

Created on: April 28, 2009   Last Updated: April 29, 2009

Do I offend you?

My dear late grandmother used to always say, "Don't expect intelligent answers out of unintelligent people." There have been many times in life I've heard her quote that, and often months now after she's left this earth to go home to be with Jesus I can still hear her say it. I've taken that to another level and added the two statements, "Don't expect mature answers out of immature people," and "Don't expect saved and righteous answers out of unrighteous people."

People will tick you off. It happens, and it will continue. The church is no different. I remember years ago when Dan and I had only been in our church for a few months. Here I was, moved across country from my family, I had very few friends at the church, I was doing the best I knew to raise my first daughter and I was fighting depression. Someone well meaning in the church asked Dan and I if we owned a clothes iron because they'd noticed that sometimes our clothes were a little wrinkly. I wanted to cry. I couldn't believe of all the nerve. Truthfully though she ticked me off, I had to learn to let it go. Accept that yes, I could make a better effort of using the iron. I couldn't hold on to my annoyance. Acts 24:16 says, "This being so, I myself always strive to have a conscience without offense toward God and men."

I am convinced that once you take on an offense from someone, it's really easy for that person to offend you. It's like once you've tasted chocolate you always have a taste for it. It's the same with offense. Once you've taken on being ticked off at someone it doesn't matter what they do, you'll find something they've done to you to offend you. Suddenly just the sight of them will tick you off.

Romans 16:17 says, "Now I urge you, brethren, note those who cause divisions and offenses, contrary to the doctrine which you learned, and avoid them." Sometimes there will be individuals that chaos and fights follow them wherever they go. You need to love these people and pray for them, but be aware they enjoy stirring up trouble. Years ago there was a situation where this one particular gentleman and myself were constantly striving. It got so bad that he and Dan almost got into a physical confrontation over it. (He doesn't go to our church anymore so those of you who do stop trying to figure out who it is, stop.) God taught me a lot through all that mess. Eventually I had to confront him, and tell him I thought he was flaky. What do you do with people like that? You keep praying for them, even when you want to smack them. You try to look at them through the eyes of God. But you can't let yourself constantly be in offense with them. You have to choose to forgive them.

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