by Rosalia Dimatteo

Created on: April 28, 2009

Figuring out who can bring guests to your wedding can be an often dificult task. It is important to take everything step by step and to first consider logistics before dealing with controversies.

Logistics

Initial Numbers & Guest List: Sit down and start to figure out numbers. Look at the capacity of your ceremony and reception venues and start to form your guest list. This list starts with the bride and grooms families and then gets moved onto friends of the bride and groom and then friends of the family. On your list you should have you guests name- beside this if they are married or have a significant other should be their partners name. When deciding who should bring a guest the people that should be given first "dibs" is your single family members and single friends. Friends of family or parents' co-workers is where you can cut down numbers guilt free. Initially you should count everyone as two untill you are ready to start cutting the "and guest" parts of your list.

Invitation Wording: This is where you specify to your guests whether or not you are giving them the option to bring a guest. Be clear on the invitiation. If they have a spouse or significant other they should be named on the invitation. If they are single or you are unsure of their current interests name the "and guest" will suffice. If you are worried about guests that you have not allocated to bring a guest responding or two then perhaps a more clear approach will be better. A clear approach would be specifying the number of people on the actual invitation. Rather than saying _______ accept OR ______ decline specify the number and have them circle it rather than fill in the number ex: I Accept or I Decline; 1 Accept or 1 Decline. Only do this for guests that you do not want to bring a guest.

Emotional Dilemmas

MARRIED/DIVORCE/BROKEN UP/SEPARATED: How and who do you address the invitations too? In situations where there has been a DIVORCE, BREAK-UP or SEPARATION you need to be cautious and in the know. There are several matters you need to asses. You need to look at the feelings of the guests and whether both should be invited or allowed to bring a guest. If you leave the guest option open to both and one does not bring a guest this may hurt the feelings of the other guest. The best thing to do is to talk to them before hand and get their feelings on it. Then sit down with your finance and put it to a vote if you cannot agree you can let the guests decide by sending them separate invitations with the old "and guest" adage. If you don't want to leave the option of a guest open then just address the invitation to them and make sure you seat them with friends to take the edge off.

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