by Tina Martin

Created on: April 28, 2009

Quality over quantity is a good motto. I am blessed to have a large number of friends. Yes, they are all friends. People I feel comfortable sharing my life with, and who I also look forward to seeing and talking with. We share laughter, tears, encouragement. The hard part is that I do not have enough hours in my day, week, or month, to spend good quality time with each of them. Sure, many of them are the type of people that can pick up where we left off the last visit, but I have often wondered how much better some of my relationships would be if I only had a few really good friends.

Closer Bonding Can Occur

You see the bond in small groups of friends when you watch television shows like "Sex in the City", "Friends", or "Seinfeld". They have other acquaintances, however it is in the small group of friends that they really know the deepest desires and fears of each other, and can be counted on to be there when needed. They share secrets of joy and sadness and they know things that could send each other to jail - okay, maybe not jail, but things nobody else would understand. They can reminisce of days gone by, and they can tell the "remember when" stories that bring a smile or a blush.

More Ease of Maintaining Relationship

A smaller group of close knit friends is easier to maintain. You are not stretching yourself too thin to be a good friend. Sometimes, I feel that I let some of my friends down because I can't make time for them weekly or more. I also have children and my own things to do around the house, so making time for 20 different people is much harder than if I had only 5 close friends.

Gatherings

When you have a smaller group of friends, it would seem to be easier to put together functions or celebrations. An example would be if you wanted to go camping for a weekend. Trying to organize the schedules of fewer families would be so much easier as well as finding a camping space for a smaller amount of people to be side by side. Another situation can be when having a gathering, will all the friends get along? Usually when in a smaller group most of the people are quite similar, even though they have unique qualities. In my large group of friends, I would guess there are approximately four categories of people. Not all of them enjoy spending time with each other, which makes it difficult for me to intermingle them.

Do I regret that I have many friends? No. I feel truly blessed. Does it make it a bit more difficult to maintain these friendships? Absolutely. And I am willing to try, however as friends move away or if certain friendships come to an end, I do not try to fill the void. I love people, and want to be the best friend I can be. That is all one can do.

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