by Amaryllis Holloway-Turman

Created on: April 28, 2009

In the business world, many human resource departments advise their colleagues not to get romantically involved with their coworkers. It makes sense not to do so. Everything is fine when the relationship is going well. But when the relationship sours, it can be difficult for the two people to remain professional with each other. Is it a simple fix for human resource departments to ban office romances? It would seem likely.

Think about this. How many times have people married people they met at work? That is very common. How many times have managers had extramarital affairs with their secretaries or other personnel who report to them? That is also very common.

Why?

People with like personalities can be compared to magnets because they are inexplicably drawn to each other. When two people are working together all the time, they might spend more time at work than with their families. For many people, their work colleagues are an extension of their families. If there two people in the workplace with similar interests, there is the chance that they might become romantically involved.

To understand why office romances cannot be stopped entails an analysis of how an office romance comes to fruition. Most office romances do not usually start because of a sexual attraction. Many times, the two people find that their personalities are similar and they begin to associate with one another on a more frequent basis. It may start with going out to lunch. The two might see that lunch is a harmless activity. They might say that since they have to eat, they might as well enjoy their lunch with someone they like. During the course of the workday, the two people are building ties and developing emotional relationships.

When emotional relationships are left unchecked, the boundaries of the friendship can become blurred. The two people have so much in common with each other. And they seem to understand one another on an elevated level. Eventually, they want to spend more and more time with one another. They might go out for dinner or drinks after work. If they have similar hobbies, they might do that together on the weekends. Once they are spending an inordinate amount of time with each other during and outside of work, the friendship will likely convert into an office romance.

Sexual chemistry is like a plant seed. Constant, close association with someone in the workplace with whom there is already an attraction provides the right conditions for that chemistry to grow into an office romance.

It is true that human resource departments can make rules forbidding office romances. If two people have developed a deep emotional attachment, it will not be long before they become embroiled in an office romance. People will find a way to discretely carry on an office romance if it is the desire of the two people to be together. When passion and strong feelings override logic and common sense, there are only excuses and justifications for actions.

If a person does not want to become entangled in an office romance, he or she is responsible for determining what his or her boundaries are. They have to protect their emotional well-being to guard against getting involved with any one at work.

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