by Victoria Tiegert

Created on: April 28, 2009

How easy it is to fall in love! It is a beautiful and glorious experience. When that engagement ring comes out and he gets on bended knee to ask you to be his one and only wife, you are in absolute and perfect ecstasy. You immediately agree that you will be the queen of this king's castle, without a thought to many of the things that may not seem so important right now, but will become so immediately after the "I dos" are said and the honeymoon is over.

Marriage is a huge commitment to make, one that should be approached with more than that emotional "love high" we can all get on. When real life begins, you may find yourself wondering how you could have been blind to so many aspects of this person's belief system, personality, and life goals. The solution to this is to take precautionary measures and ask questions, plenty of questions, before you agree to delve into a life together with this man. The following are some issues that can cause major problems for newlyweds if they haven't found a common ground prior to the wedding. Asking about these things now will help you to avoid many disagreements and disillusions later on.

*Do you want children? Most people do, but it is better not to assume anything. If so, how many would you like? If we can't have any naturally, what steps would you be willing to take? How long do you want to wait before starting a family? Children are a major commitment and if you want them, you will find yourself very disappointed if he doesn't. If, on the other hand, you don't want to have them and he does, there will be disappointments on his end.

*Where do you want to live? Do you enjoy moving around or do you want to stay in one spot for the rest of your life? This can be a bigger issue than you may assume. Take my word for it. I love to move around and experience new places. I had no idea that my husband hates relocating and this has been a source of frustration for us.

*Who is in control of the money? Is this a shared responsibility or does he want only one of you to be primarily in charge? Will you be combining bills and income? Is he a spender or a saver? Money is one of the greatest causes of marital discord, so it is essential that you have the same ideas going in, in order to avoid much of this.

*Who will work for income? Is he a man who wants a stay-at-home wife or a career woman? Is it not important to him and left in your hands to decide as you will? What about after you have children?

*How does he like to spend the holidays? These times of the year can get overwhelming when you are trying to combine the traditions of two families, especially if both of you are extremely family-oriented and just expect that you will be with yours. There must be some compromise in these situations.

These are just a few of the questions you should definitely ask before walking up that aisle to commit your lives to one another. They will get communication started, though, and probably open the doors to many more discussion topics. Marriage is hopefully a lifelong commitment, so make sure it's the right one before you agree to it.

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