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I write to express what I feel when mere words are not enough. My soul clamours with getting my thoughts and feelings on paper when I can not give voice to them. To say things out loud sometimes is just not enough so I sit and think over what I am feeling or my thoughts on different things then I proceed to write. Writing comes from the heart and with deeper feelings then trying to explain by voice.

If you are hurt by all means put it down on paper, go over what your feeling again and again and then you'll be on the road to healing. At least you will have the knowledge that you have not hidden your pain in the back of your mind where it could surface again and again through dreams etc. When you hide your feelings and don't bring them out in some way they can continue to haunt you time and again.

Myself I keep writing what ever I feel so that I can express myself and let others know my pain or happiness. Its a wonderful outlet and I don't have to worry what others think since it's all my own thoughts and if I choose not to share I don't have to. So many times I have thought back to the days I grew up and what I had gone through just getting to where I am now. I have to say some things I've written I have cried tears as I wrote knowing the pain was unbearable to bring out in the open. But I had to get it out in order to heal. So I kept on writing in the wee hours striving to finish. After finishing I had others critique my work which brought even more pain. I had to rework my writings and be more descriptive in some places was the result of their feedback.

The trouble was how do you get descriptive with a murder victim that is family, and you stumbled on the body? Describing in detail would dredge up even more pain. Daily I fought the notion of redoing my work. After a month I finally conceded it had to be done. So one evening I sat down and did just that. Guess what? The pain was still there and I continued writing in detail even though my tears would not stop. That night the nightmares never surfaced. I really think that writing about your thoughts and feelings brings them out in the open instead of keeping them bottled up waiting to surface in dreams.

In the middle of the night when it is quiet and the dark surrounds me my thoughts drift back to days gone by. I have put most of my childhood memories that used to haunt me down on paper to cleanse my soul and I now know peace. How long I went without finding release in writing, I shudder to think on. Since I have started writing I feel such calmness in my soul. I really believe that once we bring our fears and worries out to the light we start healing right away and grow into a person worthwhile with no chains holding us back. Pushing things to the back of your mind does damage to the soul and harms the spirit. Be free and write!

Learn more about this author, Leila Swanson.
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