by Barry Mccormick

Created on: April 27, 2009

Disposing of friends. An interesting question. A question to which I will answer through another: if you can freely dispose of people that are your friends, where they ever a true friend?

What do we mean when we call people friend? And what is the difference between a friend and an acquaintance? These are two questions we need to know the answers for in order to then try and answer the initial question which the title requires an answer for.

It is true that friends come and friends go. Some friends stay around and in frequent contact for life, others you may only hear from when something important happens. Some friends you would talk about certain things to but others you wouldn't. For advice for particular things you will go to one particular friend before another. There are, within friendships, various levels and degrees which friends transition through depending on the time you spend with them, the quality of interaction you have together and the amount of trust and mutual respect there is between you.

A friendship is something which is grown and nurtured between two individuals. It is not a one way affair. The more time you spend with any one person the more you get to know them. The more you talk with someone the more insight you gain of them. The more insight you gain will determine your trust which will also build through that person showing a commitment and dependability to the relationship between you both as a friend. A friend is ultimately someone whom you can trust and depend on to: answer your call late at night; sit with you and talk no matter how unimportant the subject may seem to them; be there for you exactly when you need them but also give you space as well.

The stage before friendship is the acquaintance stage. This is someone whom you have just met. You may get on with them, share a lot in common, but there just is not that same depth as you would have with a friend. These are the sort of people you would talk with about superficial things like the weather, the football, climate change, the gig you were at,. You would not talk about meaningful deep things like why you are sad today, and that deepness is the difference.

Now people can be in this acquaintance stage for any length of time. It is totally dependant on the circumstances. When it becomes a friendship is when there is more meaningful and not superficial interaction and conversation going on. That may be initiated by one of the two at a particular point or by both at around the same

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