by Laura Hinds

Created on: April 27, 2009

When dementia is diagnosed either as senile dementia or full blown Alzheimer's Disease, patients may find it extremely difficult to communicate with their loved ones and caretakers. The caretakers, from family members, to doctors and other medical professions will also find this frustrating, but they must be the ones who learn to make the changes in the way communication is handled.

There are many do's and don'ts, but a primary thing to keep in mind is that "Once dementia is ,diagnosed the patient is excused 100 percent of the time." This is according to Eileen H Driscoll, R.N. in her book "Alzheimer's A Handbook for the Caretaker." That can be a tough concept to accept, but it is necessary.

Do Nots include: not trying to reason with the patient, not arguing, not being confrontational, not reminding them that they are forgetful, not questioning their memories and not taking it personally. Not taking it personally is perhaps the hardest part of the do not list, and this is especially true when your loved one does not remember who you are at any given time. It is painful to accept and impossible to change.

Dos include keeping your explanations short and simple, when you have to repeat things, try to say it in the exact same words or phrases, give them time to understand what you mean, and try to agree with them or distract them from the issue. If they blame you for a problem, apologize, even though you are not the cause. This serves to calm a dementia patient.

Alzheimer's and dementia patients have an illness. They certainly didn't wish it upon themselves, or do it to spite you. They need your understanding and compassion more than ever. Likely they are aware of their memory problems and frightened by it. If you can reassure them that things are ok, they are loved and cared for, it will help them to trust you- even if only for that moment in time.

Communication is vital to all relationships, but most especially to people who are ill and frightened. You can provide a safe home, loving care, medical care, but being able to understand each other is vital and something that caregivers must rise to the challenge of on a daily, weekly, monthly and yearly basis. Realize that the patient's responses may change randomly, and adjust your thinking and turn of phrase accordingly. An Alzheimer's Caregiver's/Caretaker's (this term is used interchangeably) support group will be something that serves the purpose of allowing the person in charge of care to vent and also to help you to learn from other family members about how they are able to alter their communication with the patient.

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