by Ann Atwood

Created on: April 27, 2009

FEAR OF FLYING

I'm going to fly out to Spokane, WA on May 5th to share a week of enjoyment and relaxation with my younger son and wonderful daughter-in-law. Naturally, I'm so excited to see them once again. Mixed with that excitement is sheer terror. I haven't flown since the mid 90s and have never flown anywhere by myself.

Now, even in the best situation when I have to fly, it can be a very taxing experience for all involved. With others holding me up, I can be dragged through the tunnel that leads to the plane. I sort of look like it as that Green Mile where prisoners end up to meet their just punishment. All too suddenly I'm being greeted by overly friendly flight attendants, holding my shaking hands, telling me that there's nothing to worry about and everything will be just fine. Unfortunately, no one can steady my legs which seem to be manipulated by puppet strings.

Unknown hands try to push me toward my seat. "No, no, you don't understand. I have to see the Captain. I need to know how old he is, how many years he's been flying. Has he stopped at the bar before getting into the cockpit? What do he and the co-pilot do when the plane is on automatic pilot? Cards? Trivial Pursuit? What happens if they are in a tie game just when they need to get back to business. I know he's here, I saw him kicking the tires. I really need to talk with him." Of course all of my concerns fall on deaf ears.

Once I have been properly put in my place, hmmm seat, I am uncertain what to do. Should I let my traveling companion sit near the window or should I? I want to sit there, that way I can tell if we are going around in circles in a "holding pattern." But then if we are, I don't want to know about it. What to do what to do.

Once seated, I strap myself in, and put my earplugs in to listen to a "relaxation tape." But wait, my efforts are thwarted. The overly friendly attendant immediately comes over to explain "I'm sorry ma'am, but you can't have those on during takeoff." Doesn't she understand this is to calm me, and she's doing the exact opposite of what I need? So I remove my false sense of security and grip the arm rests with sweaty hands and hang on for dear life while she's explaining to everyone about crash positions and flotation devices under the seat. Maybe we'll be one of those unlucky passengers that had birds strike their plane, we'll land in the river, hence the flotation devices. These are not exactly words that I want to hear in my fragile state. I'm already checking

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