by Melissa Washington

Created on: April 27, 2009

In 2009, people are marrying later than they did generations ago. Not having sex before marriage was fine when it was customary for people to get married in their early twenties (or their late teens), but with people marrying for the first time in their thirties or forties, I think it's absurd for them to wait. Also, when discussing sex before marriage, it's usually a discussion about women being virgins on the wedding night with no requirements for the groom to be one as well.

A healthy sex life is part of a happy marriage. We need to have sex to learn what it's all about so that when we do commit to spending the rest of our lives with someone else, we will be knowledgeable and able to please our partners. Anybody over the age of twenty is probably over "showing the other person what to do".

Many women in particular have these fantasies about their wedding nights where Mr. Right will make passionate love to them and there will be fireworks and explosions. Well, if you've waited until the age of thirty before losing your virginity, then you are bound to be highly disappointed when you realize that sex isn't like it is in the movies.

Some religions say that having sex before marriage is a sin, but those views shouldn't be forced on people who don't follow such religions. When to have sex for the first time is a personal decision and sex should be divorced (no pun intended) from religion and politics.

For teens, in particular, telling them to be abstinent until marriage will only leave them ignorant. Realistically, they will have to make a decision about having sex long before thoughts of marriage come about. Taboos surrounding premarital sex make young people look elsewhere to learn about it because it is portrayed as something shameful in our society. My own sex education at home consisted of "Don't do it", so I had to ask my girlfriends about it and was given misinformation. Taboos against premarital sex keep adults ignorant as well. There are many married women who can't have orgasms because they are clueless as to how their own bodies work.

Every day, Americans are bombarded with sex in movies, on TV, and in advertisements. We're supposed to buy the right clothes, perfumes, and even cars to be sexy, but god forbid we actually HAVE sex! With modern technology, we can protect ourselves from unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases most of the time, so there is no logical reason why people shouldn't have sex when and if they want to.

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