by Jeff Charlebois

Created on: April 26, 2009

Skeeter worked in the field since he was knee high to a mole, well, a lanky mole. His father, Scooter, had been a soy bean farmer all his life. When Skeeter was twenty-two tragedy struck the family. One hazy afternoon, his dimwitted father perished after trying to blast some chiggers off his shin with a twelve gauge shot gun. He bled to death crawling back to his tractor. In essence, Scooter bought the farm and Skeeter inherited it.

One mushy morning, Skeeter ventured into the field and noticed some of his crops had been flattened in a perfect circle. His first thought was that perhaps the barnyard animals had gotten loose in the night and had a field day in the field. After careful contemplation, he dismissed the thought realizing his livestock were raised with a sense of responsibility and good bedside manners. What could it done be? he pondered as he buried his thumbs under the sweaty arm pits of his overalls.

Later that mushy night, Skeeter hit the hay early. (Seriously, his mattress was made of hay.) He was single so he only shared a bed with Bo, his hound dog. Asleep, he dreamed he was floating on a cloud with his two favorite hogs, Porky and Bess. The cloud drifted high above the ground while the three of them leaned over the edge, looking down at many exciting lands. It passed a beautiful city made of straw houses where pigs of every size and shape lived. It was Sueyville. Exhilarated, the plump hogs began to wag their tail. They wanted the cloud to land but it kept sailing. Soon they passed over a small corn field. Living beneath the stalks were tiny purple gophers. They scurried about and, as the cloud swooped by the colorful rodents, they all stood on their hind legs and began singing "Everybody Loves Somebody" in an intoxicated Dean Martin drawl.

The puffy air cushion wafted on and on until it settle down on a beautiful tropical island. Skeeter and the hogs ran around the beach, snorting, until they nestled under a palm tree and began gorging themselves on pineapples and coconuts. While lying carefree in the warm sun nibbling on jumbo raw shrimps, a group of giant roosters emerged from a nearby jungle. The gigantic cocks trampled over some freshly made sand castle and, using their beaks, picked the three visitors up. The enormous birds began frantically crowing and flapping their wings while pounding the unwelcome guests into the sand. When the fowls felt the meat was tender enough they swallowed the hogs-whole. Frightened, Skeeter plunged his

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