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Trapped by your past? How to start living for the future

by M.A. Dal Cero

Created on: April 26, 2009   Last Updated: May 10, 2009

"The past is our definition. We may strive, with good reason, to escape it, or to escape what is bad in it, but we will escape it only by adding something better to it." - Wendell Berry

The past can be a series of haunting memories, which we endlessly try to escape to no avail. It can visit us in our dreams, and sneak up on us when we are wide awake and unprepared. The mistakes and wrong turns we may have taken in life never seem to let us go, or allow us to let them go. We remember with vivid clarity every poor decision, failed relationship, and wrong word we spoke. Every pain, heartache, and loss can be felt as if it happened yesterday. We continue to carry feelings of guilt, shame, and remorse from the past into our present, until it clouds our thinking and affects us in ways we never thought possible. However, there is hope for freeing oneself from the entrapment of the past and moving toward a bright and promising future.

-Admit and accept the mistakes of the past

There are few people in the world who can honestly and completely claim that they have never made mistakes. Perfect human beings do not exist, and furthermore, the chances are very good that any mistake we have made in life has been made by someone else before. The key is to acknowledge whatever incorrect choice we may have made, and understand the causes and conditions which led us to it. We are then able to gain the perspective and insight necessary to bring about acceptance and then, self-forgiveness.

-Clean up any wreckage from the past

Are there people who require an apology? Is there anything that can be done to correct any poor decisions that may have been made? If so, now is the best time to make any amends that are holding us in the past. There is often nothing that can be done to erase the pain or difficulty we may have caused as a result of our actions and behaviors towards others. However, any effort we make to seek the forgiveness of others can go a long way in bringing about the freedom we desire.

-Learn from the past and move forward

The mistakes we make in life can be wonderful teachers. We learn who we do and do not want to be, and the exact manner in which we want to live our life from this point forward. Dwelling in the pain of the past, or beating ourselves up emotionally does not serve us. However, the lessons we take from past experiences can prevent us from repeating our failures, and point us in the right direction. It is then that we fully achieve the capability to move forward into a better future.

The future is a place in which incorrect perceptions of the past cannot be allowed. We truly live for the future when we are able to keep the past in it's proper place. We should never ignore the past and refuse to acknowledge that it happened, but rather, we should remember it for all that it taught us, and bring those lessons with us into the future.

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