by Leeanna Haugen

Created on: April 26, 2009

Think of your infant as a clean slate. There is no bad habits to combat and an eagerness to learn. This is the perfect time to establish healthy patterns that can carry them (and you) through the rest of their childhood. It is a parent's natural instinct to want to provide the best they can for their children. Parents must make an effort to determine what the children need and what they want. Separating these things can help to ensure you don't spoil them so much that you can not adequately provide the things that they need.

Routine

Set up a routine for your children. When establishing this routine, think about what your goal is. If you would like your child in bed by 8pm, Start your routine early enough where they are tucked in at that time. Then, do not deviate from that. This will help you avoid spoiling your child. Why? Well, if you have a plan in place you will know what things you can do for your child that will not affect the desired outcome and what things will. If your child wants a story, you can work that into the routine and still have them in bed by 8pm. However, if your child wants to watch the 9pm episode of Bugs Bunny, you can feel confident saying no because that will disrupt the routine and you have already made up your mind not to do that. Your infant will not have these concerns for a little bit, but the routine needs to be well in place before questions like that arise. Getting started now will make your life and your child's a lot smoother.

Ask Questions

There are some questions to ask yourself when determining if you truly are spoiling your child.

1. Is this something you are really against? Do you truly think that doing this is not a good idea? If so, decide why you are allowing this to happen.

2. Will this affect your child negatively? Parents think allowing their children to watch TV while falling asleep is easier. Well, it is now. However, just because it is easier doesn't mean that it is not harming your child. Sleep quality is poorer, the become dependant on the TV, and if you have other children, it will turn into something you will wish you hadn't started. Save all that grief and avoid it all together.

3. Am I giving because they deserve it or just giving in? This is a great question. If you are in the store and your daughter asks you if she can have the new Hannah Montana CD, are you getting it because she asked so nicely and to reward her for being on her best behavior at dinner? Or, are you giving in because you know if you say "no" she will start throwing herself down on the floor?

4. Is this turning into a bad habit? Asking this before you notice a problem can avoid a treat becoming an annoying habit!

Give Your Time

Instead of making it a habit to give in to your child out of guilt, decide to give your child the one thing all children need and want which is your time. Time with you is a far greater gift than anything you can buy.

Remember, that your new infant will not stay that way for long. Plan for the long haul and avoid giving in for the short-term benefits. It is easier said than done, but it is definitely worth it. You and your child will be thankful you took the time to evaluate how your actions affect their future. That is ultimately the primary component of being a great parent. Who doesn't want to be the best parent possible for the tiny bundle of joy that brings such joy to your heart?

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